Identified
by Zaxel
Summary: After the incident in the Seiriete, Ichigo's life begins to fall apart. Can Renji make things better or will Ichigo suffer alone?   Sequel to Anonymous    NonCon. Ichigo X ? and Renji X Ichigo in later chapters  graphic scenes edited but still strongly implied
1. A Requiem

**Title**: _**Identified**_

**By**: Zaxel

**Universe**: Bleach

**Type**: Sequel to _Anonymous_

**Genre**: Romance/Drama.

**Rating**: M

**Warnings**: yaoi/lemon (a little bit of Ichigo angsting)

**Pairing**: Ichigo x (can't tell you… yet)

**Spoilers:** None(umm…. The plot of this is not centered around any specific arc but I guess you have to know a majority of the characters or something. I only know a handful.)

**Word Count: **1,384 (ew…. Well that's short.)

**Summary**: After the incident in the bath, Ichigo is determined to find exactly who raped him. Sequel to Anonymous (only if you want it to be). Ichigo x (yet to be determined)

**Disclaimer:** Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo and ShonenJump. Things like this would happen to Ichigo if I owned him.

**Dedication: **To all of you guys who read and reviewed Anonymous. Lots of love goes out to you guys. If it weren't for the reviewers, this would've never been made.

**A/N:** I started the Anonymous story out knowing who the anonymous guy was. But then I thought, "Hey… why not let the reader decide who Mr. Anonymous is?" Then you guys read and reviewed and picked. It made me one happy person so… Who is the man that raped our orange headed soul reaper?

**A/N2:** I've only ever seen ONE episode of Bleach (32) and I only read ONE manga (vol. 11) but I've read tons of fanfiction… so yeah… if I get anything wrong TELL ME!

* * *

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo blinked before his eyes averted to meet dark blue ones. Rukia gave Ichigo a concerned look as she climbed through his open window and sat next to him on his bed.

"Hey," he greeted impassively as he sat up.

"Hey," the female shinigami greeted back. She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Are you okay?"

Ichigo sighed, "Yeah, I'm good."

Rukia was silent for a while, afraid that whatever she'd say might upset her friend. She had been concerned for Ichigo for a while. She wanted to ask him so many things but there was nothing she could say. She had asked him the same question once before only to be snapped at. She bit her bottom lip anxiously as she tried to find the right words.

"Really, Rukia, I'm fine," Ichigo finally said, as if he read her mind, though he didn't sound quite assuring.

"Ichigo," she sighed. "I can't help it if I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately."

The orange haired soul reaper did not reply. He kept his vision at nothing in particular but away from Rukia's searching eyes.

Honestly, he hadn't been himself. Not after what had happened. The incident in the bath had changed Ichigo. He was almost always tense, jumpy, and surprisingly paranoid. But over all he'd gotten depressed. He was hurting inside, as if something was eating away at him. He hated himself for letting whomever it was take advantage of him so easily. He knew he could've fought back… so why hadn't he?

"Ichigo?"

"Hmm?" he looked over to Rukia's concerned eyes.

"You seemed far just now. What's on your mind? You know you can tell me."

Ichigo shook his head, "Don't worry, it's nothing."

"You know it's never good to keep secretes from your friends, Ichigo," she sighed deeply while standing up and making her way back to his window.

Ichigo found the curious pattern on his blanket quite interesting. He began to pick at the material, his brown eyes never leaving it as he spoke. "You wouldn't understand. It's… complicated."

Rukia shook her head in disapproval, "You know me better than that, Ichigo. But, fine. Feel free to tell me when you feel like it. You know I'm always here for you."

And with that, the female Soul Reaper left.

The orange haired teenager sighed deeply as he shut the window after Rukia. He stared out the window for a long while, lost in thought. Depression had set in so deeply, Ichigo would get lost in his own sad notions. He hated feeling this way, so used, so… worthless. He felt empty and robbed of everything. So many words too complex to explain the flood of emotions he'd been feeling.

It was bad, feeling what he felt, but he kept it so locked up and too himself that no one knew what was going on—or rather, no one wanted to ask what was going on. The times that someone did care enough to ask, Ichigo would find excuses for the reason why he couldn't answer them. That's just how he wanted it—for no one to know. Why worry them with something he could handle just fine?

"That's just it… I _can't_ handle it."

He sighed in frustration before getting up to prepare himself for his daily morning assault from his father. Since that day in Seireite, his whole inner world had changed. At least everything else around him remained intact. Ichigo opened the window again and moved back, readying for—

"MORNIIINNG ICHIGOOO!"

Isshin lunged through the open window only to be tripped by Ichigo's arm and go tumbling down on to the floor.

"Up already? It's only Sunday!" His father pointed out as he stood up. True, on Sunday's Ichigo slept in before he went along his chores. But as of late he'd been unable to sleep. As silly as it was, he was paranoid to relax. That and Rukia decided to drop by a little early.

"What do you want out of my life?" Ichigo sighed as he sat back on his bed.

"You think you're going to be alright alone by yourself today? Your sisters are spending the night at a friend's house and I'll be out for the night and I left a sign saying that—

"I'll be fine," he finished.

Isshin quirked up an eyebrow in question, dropping his crazy act for once and becoming quite serious once he noticed the odd tone in his son's voice. "Are you alright? You sick?"

"I'm fine," Ichigo repeated. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason…. Just wondering how my boy is doing," he replied.

"I'm—

"Fine," he finished. Ichigo blinked up at him before scowling at his father.

"I know whatever it is that's bothering you, you can handle by yourself, right? Just a reminder, I'll always be here to help you out."

Ichigo nodded slowly, looking away from the old man. "I know. Thanks."

The bearded man smiled before trying to punch Ichigo. The tangerine haired boy was not having it, so he grabbed his fathers arm and flipped him out the window.

"See you tomorrow, my booooooyyy!!" he called as he fell down the side of the house.

Ichigo grunted before falling back on his bed and tossing a part of his blanket over his closed eyes. He turned over on his side and let out a deep breath, hoping he could fall asleep. Unfortunately he was unable to, just like previous nights. And just like every night, he would stay up thinking.

His thoughts would start out alright. Little things like school, his friends, and his Soul Reaper duties would come to mind. Yet his thoughts would drift off and he'd think about that one night in the Seireite baths. He thought about the reasons why he hadn't fought back and why he had let the man have his way with him.

The one thing that bothered Ichigo most was that his rapist could've been a comrade.

It had already been two weeks and Ichigo had yet to find the unknown man. He tried to figure it out with the little clues he had, but it was like trying to put together a large puzzle with missing pieces.

No… Ichigo had _all_ the pieces. He just didn't want to fit them together to see the picture. What if it was someone he knew? What if his rapist was a close friend? Then what?

But he couldn't just leave things the way they were. The man obviously knew Ichigo. And Ichigo obviously hated him. There were only a handful of people he hated, and even less of the ones Ichigo made sure they knew it.

Ichigo groaned as he rolled over in his bed again.

Whomever that person was who raped him—friend or not—had another thing coming.

§

Ichigo awoke with a start. His heart was beating fast in his chest and the pulse pounding obnoxiously in his ears. His breathing was erratic and his body was drenched with sweat. His breathing slowed and his heart calmed once he realized that he was back in his room. He sat up in his bed and sighed as he pressed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

"A nightmare," he sighed.

It was the same dream he had if he ever fell asleep. A flashback… no, it was a replay of that night in the bath. It felt so real, as though it were happening again.

With another deep sigh full of annoyance and frustration, he leaned back down on his bed. He blinked several times before realizing that he slept the entire day away. At least he had gotten some sleep, though it wasn't the best.

His body was tired and his eyes were still heavy, so he let them slowly close again. He couldn't fall asleep again but he was losing himself to his thoughts. Who could've wanted him so badly that they had no choice but to rape him? It just wasn't right. It made no sense. There was absolutely no logic behind it.

"If he liked me so damn much then why didn't he just tell me?!" Ichigo thought out loud.

"Because sometimes telling your enemy that you love them isn't as easy as you think."

* * *

**Endnotes:** mwahahaha…. :3 


	2. Chapter 2

**Update: graphic sexual content removed.**

**A/N: **EEeee! I feel so loved!

–throws a party- Reviews make me so happy! I can't believe you guys enjoyed both my Anonymous and Identified fics so much! I've been bombarded with so many demands to put this chapter up that I even started writing the ideas on my arm! With all the guesses and such from you guys, my readers, I've decided to change the story around. I already had most of the story on paper but then you guys were like, "ITS THIS GUY!" or "IT HAS TO BE THAT GUY!"

I'm happy to know that my readers are extremely enthusiastic about my fic. Of course, as the obedient fanfic writer that I am, I aim to please –cough-andtorture-cough-…. Heheh… 8D

You guys won't be disappointed!

**Warning:** hmmm…. I should just surprise ya. There really is no need for a warning if you read the first fic… -sweatdrop-

You guys are seriously gonna kill me after this chapter… X'''D

**Author Note for REAL! **I have NO idea what Ichigo's bathroom/house or Kisuke's place looks like… bear with me people… HEY and I also learned what **Spiritual Pressure** is! YAY!

* * *

_-Chapter Two-_

"Because sometimes telling your enemy that you love them isn't as easy as you think."

"Kon..." Ichigo huffed in annoyance. "What the hell do you know? It's not like you ever dated…" Ichigo sighed before burying his face into his pillows.

"I've watched enough soap opera's to know. It's not really as easy as you think, Ichigo..." the stuffed toy said as he hopped off from Ichigo's desk to his bed.

"You watch soap operas?" Ichigo curiosity got to him though he could care less about the annoying mod soul.

"Yeah? So?" the other admitted easily. "When no one is home all day, I watch TV… problem wit dat?"

"Oh, no, I won't stop you from watching feminist shows," came Ichigo's sarcastic reply.

"Ichigo why are you such a dick he-AAAH! LET GO!" the stuffed bear cried as he fought against Ichigo's sudden grasp on his head.

"I'm really not in the mood for you today…" Ichigo sighed as he popped out the small pill with a tap to the back of Kon's head.

The little pill rolled on his bed before he picked it up and moved to place it on his desk, along with the now lifeless doll.

"Sorry Kon," Ichigo sighed before throwing off his sheets and moving off his bed, stretching out while standing. His body was still tired and he felt the slight aching of his limbs readying to cramp due to the lack of sleep.

Ichigo thought that maybe a hot shower would do him good as he walked out of his room to do so.

"You know something, don't you, Urahara…"

Said man only glanced at Rukia and waved his fan.

"Urahara…" she sighed before shaking her head. "I know you know what wrong with him."

"I never said I didn't," came his curt reply. "I don't know Mr. Kurosaki's situation but I do know that he's been more tense than normal. He could definitely use some help but with his stubbornness…"

"If you knew he was troubled, why didn't you talk to him?"

Urahara chuckled, "Are you out of your mind? You know very well I'm the last person Mr. Kurosaki would want help from. Besides, from what I can tell, it's a personal problem that he needs to solve himself."

Rukia sighed and nodded. "You're right. If it was something he couldn't handle, he'd ask for the help already."

Urahara nodded before beeping from Rukia's cell phone sounded.

"Hollows…" She said unnecessarily as she checked her phone. "A lot of them too. Ichigo's spirit energy is attracting way too many."

"Rukia," Hitsugaya walked in from the other room. "Are you ready? Where's Abarai-san?"

Rukia blinked. "Wasn't he with you?"

Ichigo sighed as the water ran through his hair. He let his brown eyes close as the hot water relaxed his tense muscles. His mind was blank, but only for moment before his thoughts trailed to something in particular. Only something the heat of the water reminded him, the terrible memories of what happened two weeks ago.

Ichigo cursed through gritted teeth as he slammed his fist into the tile wall beside him. He was frustrated that almost everything brought him back to the incident. There was no escape from those horrible memories.

Ichigo was willing to let it go as if nothing had happened. He wanted to forget about that night. He wanted to forget everything. He didn't want the memories of someone… no, it wasn't just anyone- a Shinigami—raping him. Ichigo just wanted his life back to normal again, or rather, what he considered normal.

He had been avoiding going to Soul Society because of the soul reapers. He suddenly feared them and for that he never wanted to go near the Sieretie. No, it wasn't that… Ichigo knew the real reason behind his actions. He was avoiding his Shinigami friends. Any one of them could have been the culprit. He let out a very frustrated sigh as he ran his fingers through his wet hair and over his face before opening his eyes.

Wait a minute… why were the lights out? He didn't remember turning them off and he figured it was a power outage maybe?

As Ichigo felt around for the shower curtain, his hands met with a strong chest before both his wrists were grasped tightly. He gasped as he was pushed against the side of the shower, his back meeting the wet and cold wall with a loud smack, and his hands pinned to either side of him.

Ichigo's eyes went wide as he tried in vain to see the intruder and felt his heart racing as panic rose inside him. He opened his mouth to speak but was left speechless from shock.

"_What the hell..? How… didn't I sense him?"_

Ichigo felt himself panicking, finally realizing what was happening. He struggled and fought against the iron grip vainly and desperately, grunting and squirming for a way out. He wasn't going to be taken like this. Not again. He'd be damn if he'd let himself go down without a fight.

"Let go of me!" Ichigo cried.

The intruder simply chuckled in reply. The man tightened his grip on Ichigo's wrists and pressed his own wet body against the teen to keep him in place.

"I'm not letting you get away with this again!"

The man didn't reply right away, as if he were thinking about Ichigo's words. Oddly that frightened Ichigo. For some reason, Ichigo felt as though this guy… _wasn't_ the same guy from last time. His thoughts left him stunned and for some reason he couldn't move anymore.

"I don't know what you're talking about. But if this happened before, surely I am not the same person," the man finally replied. His tone held amusement but… it sounded familiar. If it wasn't the same guy then who could it be?

Ichigo gulped and hesitated, probably afraid of the answer more than anything, "Who are you?" the question came out softer than he intended and cursed himself mentally.

The unknown man chuckled eerily. "You are too funny, Kurosaki. Spoiling the fun already is so typical of you. If I give you my identity I would have to kill you."

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut and whimpered softly when he felt a warm tongue trail up his neck slowly and flick his ear lobe.

"Why are you doing this?" Ichigo struggled to ask, his voice shaky from the fear growing inside him.

"Another silly question I shouldn't have to answer," came the man's reply before he bit down on Ichigo's shoulder, making the boy gasp and squirm. "Maybe if you remain still I'll tell you." Ichigo grunted when he felt the pressure on his wrists tightening. "Fight back and I'll have to hurt you more than already tend to, Kurosaki."

Ichigo hesitated to answer as he weighed his options. If he kept still and wouldn't fight back, he wouldn't get hurt… _more_. Then he would be locked up in his room wishing he were dead and regretting that he hadn't tried to at least defend himself. But if he did fight back and still manage to get raped, at least his pride wouldn't be as broken. But what wound would be deeper… do nothing and let himself get raped for the second time or fighting back and losing anyway?

Of course giving up wasn't Ichigo's style.

"Go rot in hell!" Ichigo growled as he thrashed about, hoping to free himself. This angered the nameless man and he growled inwardly before releasing his hold on Ichigo's arms and grasping the boy's neck with one hand, halting the teen's movement instantly.

"I told you what would happen if you fought back," the man said darkly.

"Fuck you!" Ichigo choked out as he tried to pull off the strangers arm with his now free hands. The unknown man tightened his hold on Ichigo's neck, cutting off the teen's air and watching him choke.

"Like I said, I don't want to hurt you more than I have to, Ichigo, but you're leaving me with no other choice," he said before letting go of Ichigo's neck completely. The substitute shinigami was nearly hyperventilating as his lungs desperately breathed in the hot air of the shower.

Immediately he was forced against the tiles and pinned there once again.

"No! Don't, please!" Ichigo begged, the painful memories returning to him in flashes. He remembered how much it had hurt, how his body ached at the moment it happened. He didn't want to feel something like that again and he felt his body tremble slightly in fear.

He heard the man chuckle and Ichigo's stomach dropped. The man simply ignored Ichigo's pleas without a care, having his way with the now helpless shinigami.

Ichigo cried out in agony. The burning sensation was overwhelming and he felt the tears building up in his eyes. He shuddered when he heard the man moan in satisfaction.

"Stop!" Ichigo cried. "Please stop!"

The pleas went ignored again as the unknown man raped him cruelly and brutally.

He gripped the mans back tightly, his nails digging into his rapists flesh. The man let out a strained groan before biting down on Ichigo's shoulder like before, only harder to make the boy bleed and leave a mark. Ichigo cried out again as he pressed his fingers in deeper.

The unknown male lapped up the blood he produced from the bite before sucking on the open wound, causing Ichigo to whimper and squirm.

"You're mine. No one else can have you but me," the man breathed huskily before licking the spot once more.

Ichigo's nails dug into the mans skin and he raked them across the mans back and down his arms, desperately trying to push the bigger male off of him.

With a content sigh, after the man had his way with the smaller shinigami, the man finally pulled himself away from him. It took everything out of Ichigo to keep himself standing as his entire frame was shaking, using the wall as support.

The man's chuckle echoed in the shower walls as he caressed Ichigo's cheek almost tenderly. The orange haired boy shook his head to rid of the hand touching his face. "Don't touch me!" he growled.

"Don't be so angry, Kurosaki," the man only laughed, knowing Ichigo was too weak to do any harm but leaving the boy alone any way. With another content sigh the faceless man stepped out of the shower, saying "don't stay in the shower too long," mockingly and left, leaving a broken Ichigo.

Not a moment after hearing the bathroom door close did he fall to his knees and began to sob. The running water was now cold and pounding on Ichigo's back like little ice pricks. Ichigo cried like never before, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling at it.

He screamed, frustrated with him self and he sobbed from the pain burning in his heart. Never before had he felt this angry with himself, never before had he ever hurt so much. His heart ached more than his body did and he felt so pathetic… so used.

He felt his heart skip a beat and his eyes snapped open when a familiar voice called his name through the door.

"Ichigo?"

Renji noticed the open window in Ichigo's room as he approached the Kurosaki Clinic. Not that it mattered to Renji that it was open or not but if the window was closed that meant the boy didn't want to be bothered. Like usual he jumped up and perched himself at the window, waiting for the berry-head to insult him for entering through his window instead of being normal and using the door for once.

But the insult never came. He also expected to be attacked by the infamous stuffed lion plushy. But that never came either. Renji curiously glanced around Ichigo's room, realizing he wasn't there and that Kon was lying lifeless on his desk with MOD pill beside it. Renji entered the room and closed the window when he felt the chilly autumn wind blowing in before walking over to the lion plushy and picking it up.

The only reason Ichigo would ever take Kon out of his body is only if the Modsoul had driven him mad. That or something was just plain wrong with Ichigo.

Well… Renji couldn't blame the boy. He had been acting very strange for the past two weeks and the red head already had an idea of what the problem with Ichigo was…

Before he could dwell in his thoughts any longer, he picked up on Ichigo's spiritual energy. It felt distressed and troubled. Renji's tattooed eyebrows knitted into together and he frowned in thought. Something was definitely wrong with Ichigo.

The red head followed the boy's raitsu downstairs to the bathroom door. Renji was hesitant to knock but did so anyway.

"Ichigo… you in there?"

He gasped when he realized who it was. What was Renji doing in his house? How long had he been in the shower? He was too caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even sense the shinigami's spiritual energy.

Ichigo's sobbing had died down but he was still a little hysterical. His body continued to tremble but not from the icy water. His body felt numb and he didn't dare move. He felt that if he did his insides would fall out from the movement. He felt ill and tried to steady his heavy and frantic breathing.

"…Ichigo?" the voice came again.

Ichigo didn't have it in him to answer. He didn't want to see anyone. He wished Renji would just go away. "_What does he want from me…"_ Ichigo thought before he began sobbing again. He couldn't help it. He felt like Renji was there to hurt him too. Thoughts such as those were what were drove Ichigo insane.

"Ichigo?" Renji's voice was full of concern but Ichigo didn't care. He could be one of them. The substitute shinigami heard a gasp and he cringed as he hugged his body tighter and let out another sob. He heard Renji stepping closer and his body tensed.

"What the hell happened?" Renji asked carefully, almost hesitant. His eyes were slightly wide and he both shocked and confused.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted. "Get away from me!"

"Ichigo…"

"Don't come near me!" he sobbed.

Renji couldn't help but give Ichigo a confused look. There were so many questions he wanted to ask Ichigo but…

Renji sighed and let the thought pass as he shut the water off, figuring it was cold due to Ichigo's shivering. He reached for the only towel in the room and wrapped it over Ichigo's trembling frame. Renji was a little surprised to see the boy instantly flinch on contact.

"Don't!" he sobbed. "Get away from me!"

Renji frowned and grew slightly agitated by Ichigo's behavior before shaking his head and wrapping his arms around the boy tightly, picking him up in his arms.

"Let go of me!" Ichigo began kicking and shouting, squirming to get of Renji's grasp. But the shinigami had a tight hold on him and carried the boy out of the bathroom.

It was a difficult task to get the boy out and up the stairs and into his room without falling with his moving about hysterically. Renji knew that Ichigo was upset but he didn't realize he was so frantic. Of course, Renji couldn't blame kid.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Ichigo nearly hit him in the face. Renji wasn't having that so he dropped the boy on his bed

"Get dressed. We need to talk," Renji ordered, his voice firm.

The substitute shinigami didn't speak and kept his head low. Ichigo still trembled slightly and hugged the towel that covered his bare body. His breathing was still slightly erratic but his sobbing had died down. The sight of Ichigo looking so vulnerable and hurt pulled at Renji's heart strings.

"You need to tell me what the hell just happened in there," he added with a sigh. "Hurry up and get dressed," he said lastly before stepping out of the room. He closed the door behind him and sighed deeply. Renji scratched the back of his head while thinking.

"_Did Ichigo… get raped again?"_

* * *

**End Notes:** Bwahaha… so did you guys like it? Strange twist in plot neh?

Sorry for the short chapter… T.T It was rushed cuz I wanted to post it before I left to Dominican Republic. The next chapter is in the making:3


	3. Never Meant To Belong

**A/N:** OMG! 40?! 40 REVIEWS?!! –faints- I cant believe it! I am SO HAPPY!! This chapter is dedicated to all my wonderful readers, reviewers and cool friends I have made! Mwaaa! …n3n ENJOY! Well… if something doesn't make sense let me know!

I would like to give a shout out to **TARA KITAIDE** AND **SLIVERSHELL**:3 you guys are awesome!! Dis ish 4 juu!

**Warning:** Um… no smut in this chapter… SORRY! But um… there will be in the next? Um… and I apologize for having Ichigo acting VERY uke and pathetic. But he'll be back to himself in later chapters:) maybe… xD

* * *

_Chapter Three_ – _Never Meant to Belong -_

Renji sighed as he tried to figure out what had happened to Ichigo. The red head pondered how could someone possibly be able to rape Ichigo? Renji mentally slapped himself from the stupidity of the question. Of course it was possible. It had happened before. How Ichigo let it happen to him a second time was beyond Renji and decided he'd have to interrogate the boy when he calmed down a bit.

Renji gasped out of surprise when he felt two arms wrap around him tightly. Ichigo had death grip on Renji and pressed his head on the shinigami's back.

"Don't leave me, Renji. Please…" Ichigo whimpered. "I don't want to be left alone."

Renji felt his stomach drop from the desperation he heard in Ichigo's voice. He sounded so fragile, so hurt, and so very broken.

"Don't worry, Ichigo," Renji began. "I'm not going anywhere."

His voice came out a little bit softer than he intended to but he knew Ichigo had heard him for he finally let go. He turned around to see the boy roughly rubbing away the tears from his eyes that seemed to never cease. He was fully clothed (of course), wearing a loose fitting shirt and black sweat pants. Renji saddened at the sight of seeing Ichigo look so unlike himself; so broken and helpless. Without thinking he pulled Ichigo into a tight embrace.

"I won't let you out of my sight, okay?"

Ichigo's eyes widened for a second when he was suddenly pulled into the hug and heard Renji say that before relaxing into the warm and protective like embrace.

"Do you… promise?" Ichigo asked even though he knew it was unnecessary. He knew Renji was man of his word and had no doubt that Renji meant what he said. But Ichigo just had to make sure. He needed reassurance; he needed to hear Renji promise him.

The red headed shinigami tightened his grip around the smaller boy. "I promise, Ichigo."

Ichigo tried not to cry again and fisted some of Renji's shirt as he pressed his orange head against the others chest. Ichigo felt so weak and desperate and the thought of having to rely on someone else made him feel as though he were some kind of pathetic creature. Ichigo simply wasn't used to the feeling of having someone protecting him. It was always the other way around. He was supposed to be strong and tough but his pride was crumbling quickly. Despite himself, he began to sob again. He couldn't help but cry and it served to worsen the self loathing he had growing inside him.

Renji was only able to hold Ichigo tighter when he felt Ichigo trembling slightly. The teen stood in Renji's arms and cried. Renji had never seen Ichigo in such a way and it hurt him. But there was nothing he could do, or a word he could say that could ease Ichigo from his suffering. He just held him in his arms until the boy's crying died down to soft sniffles and occasional hiccups.

By this time Ichigo had finally loosened up his grip on Renji's shirt and just kept a soft hold on it while his head was still buried in Renji's chest.

"I'm sorry…" Ichigo apologized, his voice slightly raspy yet almost a whisper. Opening red eyes he didn't know where closed, Renji looked down at still damp orange hair. "I don't know what to do… I'm so pathetic."

"Ichigo..." Renji pushed said boy out of the embrace gently and held his shoulders. "Don't say things like that when it's not true."

"Renji…" Ichigo shook his head as he rubbed his face out of frustration and to rid the tears that were already building up in his eyes again. "I'm acting childish… I shouldn't have…" he trailed of, his voice becoming shaky with the last few words.

"Ichigo, don't be stupid," Renji frowned. The only way for Ichigo to understand something was if it was said in plain English (or Japanese?) "So you're just a little upset and paranoid because something bad happened, right? And when bad things happen people seek you for support. Now that you're in a bad situation, you need a little help. I just happened to be around."

"But Renji…"

"Ichigo, don't be foolish and just accept the help. The help I _rarely _ever give to you."

Ichigo looked up and saw Renji flash him a reassuring smile.

"Besides," Renji let go of Ichigo shoulders and ruffled his hair a little, "I owe you."

Ichigo averted his eyes in uncertainty. What he was uncertain about Renji didn't know but it seemed like he was contemplating on weather or not he could trust Renji. Ichigo looked back at Renji with glassy eyes still in need of reassurance.

"I don't know… I shouldn't…. I-I…." Ichigo stopped talking and looked away, thinking hard of what he wanted to say.

"Ichigo, don't worry about anything. Just trust me, okay?"

Ichigo's brown eyes looked back to meet with Renji's red ones and saw the insecurity reflected in Ichigo's eyes that pulled at Renji's heart. After a moment Ichigo finally nodded. "Alright."

"Good," Renji smiled sympathetically at Ichigo for a second before his smile completely disappeared with a sigh and prepared for the worst and hardest part. "So you ready to tell me what happened?"

A look of dread spread across Ichigo's face and he lowered his head. "Not really…"

Renji sighed deeply before taking hold of Ichigo's arm and leading him back inside his room. "You're going to tell me exactly what happened even if it takes you all night," the red head said as he waited for Ichigo to sit on his bed. Ichigo nodded and sat on the bed _very_ slowly, wincing.

"Ichigo…" "Don't!"

Renji blinked and stared wide eyed at Ichigo who struggled to get comfortable. "I'm fine."

"But—"

"Renji please…"

The shinigami backed down and took a seat opposite of Ichigo on his bed. The boy shifted a bit, his face written with discomfort, until he found a comfortable position that left him feeling less pain. Both boys sat on opposite ends of the bed, facing each other but not exactly making any eye contact.

Renji folded his legs and sat in silence for some time until the substitute shinigami finally spoke. "So what exactly do you want to know?" Ichigo asked reluctantly.

"What exactly happened to you." Renji answered.

Ichigo took a nervous and shaky breath and before burying his face in his hands. Renji sat there and watched Ichigo for few minutes, waiting for the boy to tell his story. He knew that Ichigo didn't want to talk about it but knowing what has been happening in the shinigami's life was the only to help him, even if the boy took until the next night to tell him. So Renji sat there and waited.

"Renji… I really don't know what happened," Ichigo finally said. "It all happened so fast… I don't even know where to start…."

"Wherever you want to, Ichigo," Renji said. "I'm listening."

Ichigo sighed and dropped his hands to rest on his lap and kept his head down. Taking a deep breath, he finally spoke.

"…Like I said, I don't know what exactly happened… I was just taking shower, and my mind was somewhere else…. I wasn't paying any attention until it was too late. Someone had found their way to me… and….. and…" Ichigo voice broke a little for the last words were too hard to say.

"…raped you," Renji finished and saw that Ichigo had winced when he heard those words. Ichigo nodded and continued.

"I don't understand how I couldn't sense him…. I couldn't even defend myself… and I let it happen to me again…."

Renji's tattooed eyebrows furrowed. "'again'?" he questioned though he already knew.

Ichigo let out a shaky breath, "I was…..raped before... back in the Seiriete. It was two weeks ago. I don't even know what happened…. I was….. I was weak and I couldn't even fight back… I literally let him have his way with me. I did nothing when I know I should've…. I just…. I don't know."

Ichigo stopped to wipe away the tears he just realized were falling again and sniffled. "I didn't know what to do Renji…" He sobbed softly.

Renji felt a sudden overwhelming rush of guilt. He realized that this was his entire fault. He was the start of Ichigo's suffering. The thought of how Ichigo must of felt, how must've he reacted, how he had been agonizing for the past two weeks made Renji realize how badly he had hurt the one he loved.

"_I… started Ichigo's misery. It's all my fault he's like this. I'm the cause of his pain."_

He watched Ichigo who was crying for the umpteenth time already. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, to comfort Ichigo. He knew that the boy was oblivious to the fact that the man who raped him the first time was sitting right in front of him and at that moment Renji decided that it was best for Ichigo never to know truth.

So he continued to act as though he knew nothing of it.

"Was it the same person?"

Ichigo shook his head. "No… I don't even know who either of them were…. They refused to let me see them. And both times I couldn't read their raietsu."

Renji made a sound of acknowledgment and waited for the other male to continue.

"I... I don't know…. I don't think I want to know who they are…"

Renji's eyes widened, caught of guard by what Ichigo had said, "What? Wait a minute, why not?"

"I'd rather just forget about it, Renji. I…." Ichigo had taken in another breath. "I… know they are both shinigami and they both know who I am. No doubt that they must be someone I know and probably care about. I don't want to hurt someone I thought of as a friend, a war buddy, someone I trust my own life with even though they have hurt me." Ichigo sighed and looked up at Renji, his eyes full of sadness. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Renji slowly nodded and averted his eyes from Ichigo. "Yeah… I get where you're coming from."

Ichigo sighed and hung his head again. "I wouldn't know what to do…."

Renji sighed depressingly. This pained Renji. He couldn't stand seeing Ichigo like this. Renji was overwhelmed by the intense flaring of his emotions. He didn't know what to do. His one and only was hurt and broken but there really wasn't much he could do for Ichigo considering he was part of the boy's pain. He knew that staying there and comforting Ichigo, getting close and healing the new wounds as well as the old ones, would only serve to worsen the situation and only be harder on both him and Ichigo in the end if Renji ever decided to reveal the truth.

But the fact that Ichigo was still his friend, the fact that Ichigo so desperately _needed_ help, and the fact that Renji loved the boy, kept him from leaving. Renji's mind was telling him—no, _screaming_ at him—to just leave and forget about everything and let someone else take the responsibility of comforting him.

"_But he _is _my responsibility. I hurt him and I have to fix that. If I really do love him… I should've just told him instead of starting this whole mess and maybe… things wouldn't have gotten so bad for Ichigo." _

He snapped out of his thoughts when Ichigo began sobbing again. Renji felt utterly and completely guilty.

"I don't know what to do, Renji," he cried. "I'm so confused!"

Renji instantly moved so that he was sitting beside Ichigo and wrapped his arms around the smaller teen, bringing him close so that the substitute shinigami could cry on his shoulder.

"It's alright Ichigo… I won't let anything happen to you again…" Renji said soothingly as he rubbed Ichigo's back to calm him down. "… I promise."

Ichigo fisted Renji's shirt again and clinged on to him as he cried.

…_Don't worry about anything… just trust me…_

Renji's words echoed in Ichigo's mind and he eventually started to calm down.

_I won't let you out of my sight… I promise…_

Ichigo finally relaxed and shifted so that he was more comfortable sitting in between Renji's legs while being held closely in his arms and rested his head on Renji's chest. He sighed as he snuggled closer (without even realizing it) and felt Renji gently tighten his protective hold.

For some odd reason, Ichigo felt as though this was right.

_I won't let anything happen to you again…_

"Thank you… Renji…" Ichigo said softly as sleep was slowly overtaking him.

Renji couldn't help but smile.

* * *

**Endnotes:** wtf, fluff! xD sorry for the wait! I couldn't decide how I wanted to end it but the next chapter WILL be up in like… a day:3 I hope you guys enjoyed it!! So there will be some Renji x Ichigo but the question is… will they last and will Renji ever tell Ichigo who _really_ raped him the first time? And who is the second rapist? AND WILL THERE BE MORE?! –le fuckin gasp!- XD

So, I'm off to finish the fourth chapter! Thanks to all those who've been dealing with my lateness and continued to read my fic! Thank you!! Reviews are much appreciated:3

**Vote:** Should there be Renji x Ichigo smut? XD


	4. Here To Stay

**A/N:** Chapter four already?! LE GASP!! Yeah, I told ya I was sorta done anyway so… here it is… :3 enjoy. And also, I was only asking for you guys to vote because I was already working on the smut for the future chapter. Thanks guys!

**Chapter Dedication**: To all my lovely readers and reviewers. Without you guys I would have lost all hope in writing this fic since I continue (and still do) to believe that I'm not worthy to write Bleach fics. And also to Slivershell. She has been so kind to me! We even have some one-on-one discussions on AIM about our fics and she's helped me so much!! Thank you for being so awesome:3

**Warning:** Hollow Ichigo x Ichigo smut? xD and some random humor put here and there… you know, Renji being silly. Oh and dialogue… lots of it.

* * *

_-Chapter Four-_

_Here to Stay_

_---_

Renji sighed as he watched Ichigo sleep, his usual frown adorning his features. Once Ichigo had fallen asleep he laid the boy on the bed and fell asleep next to him. It was early morning now and the red head was completely famished, but he had promised Ichigo he wouldn't leave. So there he was, just staring at the boy resting soundly in what Renji assumed finally in a long time, and waited for him to wake up. He had to admit, Ichigo looked adorable when he slept. Not that he would ever tell the substitute shinigami that anytime soon. That thought, along with many others, were pushed back into a corner of his mind where everything he wanted to tell Ichigo but couldn't was kept. Renji sighed again as he ran his fingers through the bright orange softness. Renji was utterly amazed at how soft it _really _was. He couldn't help but curl his fingers in it and comb through it. No really, Renji was flabbergasted.

He swore his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Ichigo shifted a little and made a little sound as he leaned more into Renji's touch. The red head let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and continued to pet the boy when he realized Ichigo was still asleep.

Renji only stopped when something caught his eye. It was a discolored part of Ichigo's skin that was covered by his shirt on his left shoulder. Renji tugged at the sleeve of Ichigo's shirt to reveal the bruise but found that it was horrible bite mark. Not even a love bite but a deep and raw puncture that left a very dark bruise. He gently ran his thumb over it and saw Ichigo flinch and wince slightly.

The recent rapist left his mark on Ichigo and Renji felt a little enraged by that. Without realizing he had pressed a little too hard and Ichigo's eyes snapped open. Their eyes locked for a second before…

"AH!"

Ichigo had pushed Renji off the bed and he landed with a loud thud. "What the hell, Ichigo!?" Renji scolded as he sat up and rubbed his back.

"…Renji?"

Said man looked up at Ichigo and noticed the confused and surprised look on the teens face.

"…oh, I'm… sorry… I didn't know… I mean… I thought you were—"

"Ichigo."

Ichigo stopped his stammering and looked at Renji who nodded in understanding. "I know. It's okay."

Ichigo sighed and lay back on the bed and turned over, throwing his comforter over his face and curling up.

"Ichigo?" Renji called, slightly confused, as he stood up and sat on the bed, placing a hand on the boy.

"I'm sorry," came Ichigo's muffled reply. "I thought you were……"

Renji sighed. "I know… don't worry about it. It's not like you killed me or anything, right?" Renji joked.

Though the boy didn't laugh. He simply didn't answer. Renji sighed and decided to change the subject.

"You hungry?"

"….no…"

Renji frowned. "Will you be hungry later?"

"…….no…."

"Will you be hungry at all today?"  
"…nope…"

Renji was not happy with those answers. "And why not?"

"…because I don't feel hungry," Ichigo said through the sheets.

"I don't want to hear that, you're going to eat, even if I have to shove it down your throat." Renji threatened.

Ichigo groaned a reply. "If someone's not hungry, why force them to eat?"

"There's a difference between not wanting to eat because you're not hungry and not wanting to eat because you _refuse_ to."

"I wasn't refusing, I'm just not hungry."

"I bet. Especially since you're stomach is definitely not growling."

Ichigo frowned as he realized his belly was making noises and he silently cursed at it as he heard Renji chuckle triumphantly.

"As long as you eat something, lest be a few bites, I'll be happy. Alrighty?"

Ichigo sighed, "Whatever…"

"So…"

Ichigo pulled down some of his blanket to reveal only his eye so he could look at Renji in question. "What?"

"Are ya coming? I'm not gonna leave you here alone."

Ichigo nodded slowly and Renji smiled before standing up and pulling off Ichigo's comforters without warning. The teen let out a small yelp of surprise when the chilly air of the room hit his skin. Renji grabbed Ichigo's arm and hoisted him up to his feet then quickly dragging him downstairs before pushing him to sit at his table. The whole process left Ichigo slightly dazed.

Renji walked into the kitchen and searched around, "Okay, so I was thinking I'd make salted fish with some seaweed stripes… if you have of course."

Ichigo snapped back to reality and nodded, "Yeah, it's there…"

"Good!" Renji said before chuckling bashfully while scratching the back of his head. "'Cuz that's the only thing I know how to make anyway… heh."

Ichigo couldn't help but smile a little. "Idiot."

"AH-HA!"

Ichigo jumped at Renji's sudden outburst and stared wide-eyed at the man pointing at him as if accusing him of some wrong deed… like stealing from the cookie jar.

"I knew you still had some of that wise-ass in ya! I just gotta get it back out!"

Ichigo blinked several times before quirking his eyebrow in curiosity. "Oh really?"

"Ya really!"

Ichigo couldn't suppress the smile that made its way on to his face. He couldn't help the little chuckle he let out either. "Dumb ass…"

"See I knew it! I knew something was wrong!" Renji over exaggerated.

"Renji… stop being an ass," Ichigo said, his grin growing wider at his friend's silliness.

"Ho shit! Is that a smile?! What the fuck!" Renji threw his arms up in disbelief.

"Dude… something is wrong with you."

"No I think the wrongness is with you!"

"What?! That doesn't even make sense!"

"Exactly my point! Cuz you're dumb and I'm not but you are so therefore I'm right! Ha!"

"Renji!"

"What?!"

"Stop bitching and cook already?! I'm freakin starving!"

"Why yos, 'o course!" Renji grinned widely before turning around doing what he was initially supposed to do.

Ichigo shook his head. He refused to question his friends stupidity since he figured doing that would bring more of it so he just sat there and pondered to himself what had gotten into the Shinigami this morning.

"So…" Renji began, wanting to make some conversation as he cooked. "You slept alright?"

Ichigo couldn't stop the blush that colored his cheeks. He remembered falling asleep in Renji's arms last night, something he would never let happen on a normal basis. But oddly enough, at that moment in time, he felt like it was just right. The way Renji held him protectively and knowing that he was going to be safe put his mind at ease and he finally slept peacefully. Though this morning he had woken up quite startled, being all paranoid and what not, he didn't mean to push Renji away. He actually enjoyed the closeness but… it was _awkward._ Renji was his friend.

"Yeah, I feel much better," he finally answered a little uneasily. _… just friends."_

---

Ichigo gawked at the food set before him. He didn't even make a move. He just stared at it.

Renji frowned. "What, it doesn't look that bad…" he huffed as he sat appreciate of Ichigo at the table.

Ichigo blinked. "What did you say you were making again?"

"Salted fish with seaweed stripes…"

Ichigo blinked again. It looked nothing like it. If at all, it looked like the fish dived head first into a frying batter and stood in there just a little too long, and the rice looked like it was still hard… and was that _really _seaweed?

Renji huffed at the silence and Ichigo's dumbfounded starring. "Well damn, Ichigo. It's not going to kill you."

"And what if it does?" Ichigo suddenly asked, poking at the thing called fish with his chopsticks.

"What?"

"What if does kill me?"

"Tch! Fine! Don't eat it! Gawd…" Renji grew agitated and decided that forcing Ichigo to eat his own "food." "As if I'd care if you starve…" he mumbled, obviously quite offended.

Ichigo looked up and stared at the red head. He seemed unaffected by it and simply ate casually, his red eye concentrated on the bowl of rice he ate out of. Maybe Renji was used to his terrible cooking? Or maybe it really wasn't all that terrible. Well… it only looked bad. It probably doesn't even taste crappy either, Ichigo thought.

He sighed and finally picked a small piece off the fish and starred at it before putting it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, afraid of the flavor but it really wasn't terrible. Hell, it actually tasted good! It was a little rough and chewy but Ichigo actually enjoyed that small bite and went for more.

Renji noticed from the corner of his eye and looked up to see Ichigo eating nonchalantly. Renji didn't fight the cheeky smirk.

"So… you like it, eh?"

Ichigo glanced up at Renji. "It's not _that_ bad."

Of course he wouldn't admit to it that easily… It was Ichigo. But Renji decided to accept that and smiled before continuing his meal. They remained in silence for sometime, eating quietly yet comfortably.

Neither of them had much to say, really. Renji's brain was simply blank and couldn't think of anything else but how cute Ichigo looked when he ate. Yeah, Ichigo was a cute one. He mentally slapped himself when he caught himself starring at the teen. He jumped and almost choked on his rice when he heard Ichigo call him, scaring the red head out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" Renji answered after clearing his throat.

"You're chopsticks…" Ichigo pointed out without looking up, "They're upside down…"

Renji looked at them. They _really _were. Now, he felt both awkward and stupid. "So? I like holding them this way. Problem?" _Real smooth…_

Ichigo still didn't look up. "No… I was just wondering. Though it is kind of odd…"

"You're face is odd."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Ichigo was looking at Renji with a frown while the other was glaring. A challenge…

"Your tattoos are odd."

"Well your name is odd."

"Well your hairline is dumb."

"Tch! Your hair is just stupid!"

"Ha. You're one to talk. Your hair is just as stupid if not stupider."

"Well… you're gay."

"Your dumb eyebrows are gay."

"Are not!"

"HA! I won!"

Renji grunted and Ichigo smirked triumphantly.

"Dumb ass…" he mumbled.

"Douche bag…"

Renji shot Ichigo a glare that said "I dare you to come over and say it again," while Ichigo's facial expression said "you wanna take this outside? 'Cuz I'll still whoop your ass." They remained like that for about a minute before bursting out into a fit of laughter. They laughed so hard that it began to hurt their sides. Renji had already fallen backwards and practically started rolling while Ichigo's head met hard with the table as he clutched his side. Only when their lungs desperately needed air and felt like crumpled paper bags did their laughter slowly subsided to chuckles.

Ichigo let out a loud sigh. "Damn… I didn't know it'd be that funny."

Renji sat up and sighed as well. "Dude… my face hurts…"

"That's because it's so freaking ugly…"

"Oh don't even start cuz then I'd really have to kick your ass," Renji countered as he stood up.

"Oh, you really think you can kick _my _ass?" Ichigo questioned, smirking nonetheless.

Renji retrieved some of the used dishes and walked to kitchen with a fake cackle, "Ill wipe the floor with your face."

"Is that a challenge, Abarai?"

Renji turned to say something but found Ichigo standing right there behind him, his challenging cocky like smirk plastered on his face. Renji waved it off and turned around to do the dishes. "Eh… you're not worth my time." Though he sounded bored, Renji had the biggest face splitting smirk. He heard Ichigo scoff and purposely push him so he could put his own dishes in the sink.

"You're just afraid that I'd kick your ass," Ichigo continued to press, hoping Renji would say something along the lines of "Oh yeah? Well let's take to Urahara's place!" Ichigo hadn't realized he was so battle hungry, considering he had been avoiding fighting all together for the past two weeks. He thought that ventilating some his problems through combat might do him some good. Now Renji was going to take up Ichigo's challenge and prove that he's the stronger man but then…

"WA-HA!" Renji jumped in surprise when something vibrated in his ass. Then he remembered that he had placed his cell phone in his back pocket and immediately took it out. He looked at the screen and sighed.

"I don't like the title of this text message…" Renji mumbled as he started pressing buttons on his phone. Ichigo just watched with a frown. He knew whatever it was had just foiled his plans to some sparring and he sighed with disappointment.

"Rukia is pissed 'cuz she didn't know where I was and her 'n Hitsugaya Taichou went off and fought some Hollows without me. And she also said that Kuchiki Taichou left to the Soul Society without me last night so… yeah," Renji explained before putting his phone away.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "You weren't supposed to be here… were you?"

"Eh…" the older male waved it off and proceeded to washing the dishware. "Doesn't matter. It's not like I could've left you… the way you were 'n all."

Ichigo sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing when you did nothing wrong… stupid."

Ichigo sighed deeply again, finding that arguing with Renji would be pointless, so he left to sit at the table again. He scratched his head again as he was left to think for a bit.

----

"Wait… you're leaving?"

Renji looked back at Ichigo and flashed him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon! I just have some things to straighten out in the Soul Society."

Ichigo opened his mouth to ask another question but stopped himself and shut his mouth, looking away from Renji uneasily. The red head tilted his head to the side in curiosity. "You were gonna say something?"

Ichigo didn't look back and instead kept his focus on anything but Renji. Why was it suddenly so hard to talk to him? Maybe he was embarrassed? Or maybe ashamed to be asking Renji such things? "Umm…. When are you coming back?"

Renji pondered for a minute before giving Ichigo an answer. "It depends… I'm hoping tomorrow night or something… but knowing Byakuya, probably a week."

"Oh…okay."

Renji frowned at the disappointment in Ichigo's voice, but there was nothing he could do about it unfortunately. He had to get himself back to the Soul Society first even tending to Ichigo was way more important. No… he couldn't do that. Renji wasn't even supposed to be there. He knew it was wrong… he knew that staying with Ichigo would only cause a mess in the end. A _very_ big mess. And the thought of losing Ichigo… it's just not worth it. Maybe his captain could be an ass and not send him back for a month or two. He could think things over but… that'd mean leaving Ichigo alone.

"Ichigo… you'll be okay?"

Ichigo finally looked at him and nodded, "Yeah…"

"Alright then…" Renji said unsurely before turning around and opening the front door. "If anything… you know Rukia's around. She's been worried about you too but I won't say anything."

Ichigo nodded. They said their goodbyes and Renji was gone. Ichigo let out another depressed sigh before making his way to his living room and plopping on the couch, lying on his stomach and burying his face in the pillow. This week had been crazy…. Ichigo felt like he was riding an emotional rollercoaster. His mood seemed to have been getting better at first but within realizing that he and Renji were acting too close for friends, Ichigo began to push the shinigami away. He was beginning to think that he.. and… Renji… could be…

Ichigo let out a frustrated huff as he forced that thought out. He had realized he had somehow quickly fallen for Renji. He didn't exactly know how or even why, but that's just how things were. He started feeling uncomfortable around the shinigami and unintentionally began to close himself again. It was sad really… he finally let someone in besides Rukia… And now… he was back to being alone again.

Wait… that's right. He was left alone now. _"What now?"_ he thought as he turned his body around so that he was now facing up and brought his hands to his eyes to rub them roughly. Ichigo's head was completely messed up and at the moment he couldn't think straight.

"_Ichigo…"_

"Zangetsu…" Ichigo acknowledged. Removing his hands from his eyes he saw he was in his inner world.

"_It's raining."_ The man pointed out, looking up at the sideways clouds blanketed the whole sky in gloomy darkness.

Ichigo sighed depressingly. "Yeah… I know… sorry about that."

_::I don't like getting soaked…::_

Ichigo didn't answer to that particular voice. He only let out a deeper sigh as his eyes traveled around his stormy world.

"_It has been raining for a while now, Ichigo."_

_::Hell! You say it like its some kind of drizzle! It's a fucking storm in here!"_

Ichigo sighed and rested his head in his hands. "I know… I'm sorry."

Everything fell completely silent for a moment. The only sound heard was the hard pounding of the heavy rain against the buildings of Ichigo's Inner world. The soft humming of thunder echoed and Ichigo felt twice as more guilty. He let his hands fall to his sides and let out a sigh as he stared down.

"_Ichigo… I promised I'd never let rain fall in this world. I hate it… when it rains. I hate it when you're sad."_

Ichigo said nothing. There _was_ nothing for him to say. He just kept his eyes on the wet ground. What was he supposed to say? They know of his situation and f course they knew what was going on… they were apart of him. But…there was no point in trying to say anything or ask of anything. They couldn't help him. Ichigo knew that Zangetsu would only "bother" if something was terribly wrong. But alas, as said before, there was nothing that could be done.

_::Hey… king…:: _Ichigo looked up at his inversed form who was sitting lazily on the ground with his head resting on his hand and completely drenched._ ::You shouldn't be so fucking depressed… it gets annoying. It's been like this for two weeks now. I normally wouldn't care but this is just ridiculous.::_

Ichigo grew slightly irritated at the comment and glared at his hollow. "You don't know anything so just mind your damn business."

_::I would mind it if you weren't my business… idiot.::_

"_Ichigo…" _Zangetsu interrupted. _"We are worried about you…"_

_::He is,:: _The hollow corrected quickly,_ ::Not me. I don't give a damn about you. I just want it to stop raining.::_

Ichigo was growing tired of hearing his hollows mouth and finally snapped. "Would you shut up?! I know it's fuckin raining in here! I know that you guys don't appreciate the fact that I'm unhappy and I can't seem to get over it, and I know it's been like this for who knows how fucking long, but right now I'm _really _not in the fucking mood so just lay off!"

The hollow only blinked at him for a moment, a confused look written on his face at Ichigo's outburst, before scoffing and rolling his eyes. "Big fucking baby…" he mumbled.

Before Ichigo could say something, Zangetsu stepped in first. _"Ichigo… don't… it's not worth your time."_

Ichigo let out a stressed sigh and looked away. This was honestly a waste of time.

"I… need some time alone. Please… just hold a little while longer." Though Ichigo was directly talking to Zangetsu, his words were meant for both him and the hollow. "It won't be long…." He sounded open almost unsure of his answer.

Zangetsu made a hum of acknowledgement while his hollow simply snorted.

And then he was gone. The rain seemed to have started pouring harder. And the hollow sighed.

_::I really don't give a damn what happens to him…:: _the hollow said, a sadistic grin appearing on his face. _::I just might make things worse for him…::_

--

Ichigo woke up with a start. He had fallen asleep after speaking with the two spiritual beings that lived inside him. Ichigo sighed deeply as he starred at his wall. For some reason… he felt like crying. He suddenly felt overwhelmingly empty inside. And then it hit him. Renji was what he was missing.

Ichigo mentally cursed himself over and over. What the hell was wrong with him? The man was only gone for a couple of hours and Ichigo was acting like a big baby. He didn't need Renji. He could take care of himself without the help of anyone anyway.

Or so he thought….

Ichigo let out a yelp when his hollow form suddenly appeared beside him with a "Boo!" Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "The hell do you want?"

The hollow smiled almost innocently (if that was possible) at Ichigo, causing the substitute shinigami to deepen his frown. "I wanted to have some fun!"

Ichigo's eyebrow quirked up in question. "Fun?"

"With you of course!" he smiled. "Ya know, since you're all types of easy and happen to let anyway cop a feel at ya."

"You bastard…" that angered Ichigo and he shot up to lunge himself at the annoying hollow. Ichigo's inversed form laughed and giggled as they wrestled in Ichigo's living room, rolling all over the place until the hollow gained the top position and pinned Ichigo's arms to the ground.

"Get off!" Ichigo roared.

"Pft… as if! If you're gonna be a whore at least let me have some fun with ya too!"

* * *

**Endnotes:** And no lemon for you guys yet! Mwhahahaha! X3 damn… it took longer than I expected…. It should've been done a while ago… I HATE how this chapter turned out! Its so pointless!! RAH!! Well tell me what you think… I suck… but there will be HichixIchi in the next chapter!! Yay!!


	5. My Plague

**Note: Graphic scenes edited. If you want the whole dirty-ness go to my ficwad or y!gallery profile.**

**A/N:** Just so you know… I think I made it so that Ichigo's hollow is outside of his inner world and in his living room. Again, I am a total Bleach newb and I don't know if that's even possible. I'm so sorry to you hardcore fans and I hope you'll forgive me.

**Warnings:** okay for real… DarkIchigoxIchigo smut/noncon… Ichigo real uke... sorry guys.

**Disclaimer: ** Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo and ShonenJump. Things like this would happen to Ichigo if I owned him.

_Chapter Five_

"_My Plague"_

Brown eyes were screwed shut as clothes were carelessly and eagerly torn off, revealing bare, bruised, and cut skin. Ichigo's still healing body trembled slightly when it met with the chilly air of his dark living room. His breathing hitched as his wrists were pinned above his bright orange hair. His reluctant whimpers sounded as his hollows teeth grazed against fresh wounds and marks.

The hollow let out a low hum as white lips brushed against the slowly healing bruise on his King's shoulder. "The last guy left his mark on you…" he said idly before licking that spot, making Ichigo's face scrunch in discomfort. "I should leave one on you too. Maybe a whole bunch of 'em."

"Like hell you will," Ichigo spat venomously as his eyes snapped open to glare at his hollow. _Hichigo_, so the king dubbed, looked up at him with yellow irises brimming with amusement and desire.

"Aw, come on, partner…" he pouted playfully as he sat up and straddled the boy's legs, "you're being very mean," he said, his face feigning a hurt expression.

Ichigo hissed as a thumb pressed into his broken hand, something Hichigo "accidentally" fractured when the shinigami tried to escape.

After Ichigo declared he wasn't a whore to the hollow, he fought out of the others grip, pushed him back and tried to run away. That was the first thing that came to mind was just to run. He thought he could get away. He thought maybe, just _maybe_, he could've gotten away. But what the hell was he thinking? Escape was impossible, despite the hope he had, and this was Ichigo's hollow… he _always_ got what he wanted.

He didn't want Ichigo to run off. Oh no, running wasn't what the hollow had in mind. That's when Ichigo was tackled to the ground from behind. The hollow had Ichigo pinned to the floor even as the substitute shinigami tried to wriggle away. Hichigo had grabbed hold one of Ichigo's wrist and twisted it a bit too far. The hollow had cackled as he enjoyed the sound of Ichigo crying out in pain. He had leaned close to the teen and said, "Keep still and I promise I won't break anything else you might need."

Ichigo was in his hollow's grasp again and he knew there was no way out of the terrifying misfortune he had, but he continued fight back. Hichigo proved to be the more powerful one and kept his promise, hurting and forcing the teen into submission.

His body ached from the pain inflicted by his inversed form but he refused to give the hollow the satisfaction of seeing and hearing his pain. Where there were broken bones, nasty bruises formed, and where he had been struck were bleeding cuts that opened from amount of force put behind each blow.

But Ichigo had enough. He refused to let himself surrender again. He wasn't going to let it happen _again_.

"Get off of me you sick bastard!" he roared as he struggled to free himself again. His body was screaming from the pain his hectic movements caused but he ignored it as best he could as he fought against the hollows grip. Despite all the stinging and aching his body felt, he used all his force to push the hollow off him completely. Forcing his body to cooperate, Ichigo began to crawl away, unable to stand up.

"I see you still have some fight in you," Hichigo said almost gleefully as he stood up. "We'll just have to break you some more."

Ichigo let out a yelp as the hollow grabbed his ankle and pulled him back, throwing off the boys balance and causing him to fall. He yanked the boy back and flipped him over before straddling Ichigo again and smacking a white hand across a tanned cheek. Ichigo cried out in agony as the hollow's other hand grabbed Ichigo's broken wrist and squeezed the swollen limb hard. His white nails dug into the flesh, causing hot blood to ooze out.

"Keep trying to run. I promise the next thing I'll break is your legs."

Hichigo released the nasty grip on Ichigo's arm before moving his stark white hand to grip his jaw so that they made eye contact. Ichigo cringed as his hollow's sadistic smile grew while towering over his King.

"Now then…" He said as his free hand and eyes trailed down Ichigo's chest. He let the sentence unfinished sentence sink into Ichigo's substandard as he idly licked his lips and thought of the ways he could start his torment.

Ichigo couldn't help but panic, the prolonged horror finally transpiring. Ichigo didn't want this to happen to him again. He wouldn't let it. He began cursing, and hollering as he, again, tried to free himself, desperately wanting this torture to end, nearly resorting to pleas.

The pale hand tightened its grip on his face and shook him, silencing the teen. "Wouldn't it be way smart, and much easier if I might add, if you just let me have my way," the hollow suggested, smirking only afterwards.

"No! Get off of me!" he protested as his only good hand grabbed Hichigo's arm and tried to pull it off his face.

The hollows smirk dropped to a deep frown of displeasure and annoyance. "You're _really_ starting to annoy me, partner."

With that said, he moved his hand to grip Ichigo's throat tightly. "I hate having to hurt you…" he lied, the sadistic smile returning to his features when Ichigo made soft choking noises and clawed at the arm that continued to tighten its grip steadily on Ichigo's throat.

"Too bad I can't kill you… I bet you would want that." Hichigo let go of his King's throat, leaving him gasping for air.

"Be good. I promise I won't hurt you too much."

"No! Stop it!" Ichigo cried as he attempted weakly to free himself.

"Stop fighting it partner! You're only gonna make it worse!" Hichigo sang teasingly.

"Stop!" he tried again, his voice almost horse from all the shouting.

"I promise I'll stop if you just keep still…" the hollow said as he dragged his fingers across Ichigo's stomach, his sharp fingernails cutting into Ichigo's skin and creating five long and jagged lines of crimson. Ichigo groaned in pain as his hollow dug his nails the fresh cuts and digging into flesh as blood seeped out.

"Oops!" Hichigo chirped after swiping his nails across Ichigo's chest, blood instantly welling up and seeping out of the new gashes, and making Ichigo hiss in pain.

"I'm sorry! I meant to slit your throat!" he laughed.

Hichigo's sadistic grin grew as he concentrated on bringing his master further pain by taking his other hand and carving into Ichigo chest, ripping skin and flesh with his sharp nails.

Both his hands were coated in blood by the time he was done inflicting pain so that Ichigo was unable to run. For each move the substitute shinigami made, even the slightest twitch, the sadistic hollow would brutally harm Ichigo by either scraping his nails on the boys naked body, beating him, or even break a few bones.

Ichigo would occasionally let out cries of agony when the pain became to unbearable but he would force himself not to let his hollow have the satisfaction of hearing him cry out. It was already hard enough to let himself give up so easily. Hearing his own cries of pain was crushing his remaining dignity.

"Time to get on your knees!" Hichigo sang as he turned his other over to lie on his stomach.

With a grunt Ichigo was forced on all fours, breathing heavily from the pain and slightly wobbly from his broken arms. He cursed through gritted teeth and screwed his eyes shut when he felt his hollows weight on his tortured body. Ichigo's mind screamed to fight back, the little voice in his head that gradually grew louder and continued to scold him. Ichigo let out a whimper when the hollow licked his ear and wrapped an arm around Ichigo's waist and pressed himself against Ichigo.

It took all of Ichigo's willpower to simply stand there and let himself be taken by his hollow. He wanted to cry and beg the hollow to stop. He felt the tears stinging his eyes as he continued to keep them tightly closed. He remained on his hands and knees, waiting for the insufferable pain to come

"_I could stop this…"_ he told himself. _"I could keep fighting back… I could try and run away."_

"You gotta be plain stupid to try any of that now." Hichigo suddenly said, actually replying to Ichigo's thoughts.

His hollow had read his mind…. His hollow was apart of him… his hollow _was_ the other Ichigo.

He knew what Ichigo wanted. He simply wasn't it letting him have it.

"You want me to let you go," Ichigo's inversed half began, whispering huskily in his ear. "I want you to beg, I want to break you, and I want you to suffer."

And with that said, Hichigo had his way with the boy, without warning, without preparation, just raw. His body shook violently as the mind numbing pain surged up his spine.

He heard his other half moaned something incoherent as he proceeded with the the dirty deed.

The tears Ichigo tried so hard to restrain finally spilled when the overwhelming pain became too much to handle and his pained cries became whimpers as he now resorted to begging.

"Please! Stop!" Ichigo cried.

Then his hollow whispered gruffly in his ear, "I bet you wish this was Renji screwing you into the floor."

Ichigo let out a gasp and his eyes went wide for a second. The hollow laughed.

"You wish it were Abarai fucking you hard and making you feel good, don't you?"

The shinigami's let out a pained sob and he shook his head hard, and repeating "No! I don't!"

"Yes you do!" He laughed.

"You want Renji to make you feel good. You want him to bang you so fucking hard," Hichigo's harsh words made Ichigo feel sick to his stomach and forced more tears out his eyes.

"No! Stop! Please!" Ichigo sobbed as he tried to wriggle out of his hollows grasp.

"Quiet, you want this," Hichigo chuckled as he shifted and moved Ichigo to hands and knees again and regained his position on the top.

"You want Renji so badly to fuck you right now," the hollow started again with the biggest sadistic face-splitting grin.

Ichigo started shaking his head again as he sobbed uncontrollably this time. "No! no! Shut up!"

Once he came down from his high, Hichigo pulled himself out of the teen and pushed him over so that he was now lying on his back. The hollow smiled wickedly before climbing on top of Ichigo who continued to sob hysterically.

"What's the matter partner? Did the truth hurt? Or was I playing to rough?"

With his injured hands, Ichigo desperately and pathetically tried to push his hollow off of him but failed. He was too weak to do anything and with his hollow hovering above him triumphantly only proved how weak he really was.

Hichigo leaned close until their noses where touching and said, "Ready for round two?"

Rukia stood beside Renji as they sat on the veranda. There was nothing but silence between them, not the awkward kind but the kind that left them feeling easy and relaxed. She sipped on a cup of sake that Renji had brought along when she wanted to talk. Not one word has been said, though Renji wouldn't want to force whatever it was out of her. He knew that if it were something very important she'd have said it by now. Though looking at the thoughtful expression on her face Renji believed she was trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to say.

Renji finished his cup before grabbing the bottle and pouring himself another serving of sake. Rukia sighed deeply after taking a sip again and resting her hands on her lap with the empty cup in her hands.

"You okay?" Renji asked with a raise of his tattooed brow.

"Renji," she started. Her tone sounded serious, and it worried Renji slightly. "Do you know what happened to Ichigo?"

Renji looked at Rukia curiously and shook his head, "No, why?"

She sighed again as she stared out, almost distantly. "He had been acting a bit strange when I went to visit a few days ago and you were with him afterwards. I was just thinking that while you were with him that maybe he said something."

"No, he was just fine," he lied.

Rukia let out a small sigh of relief and looked at Renji with a soft smile. "Then I must've been over reacting then. I thought something extremely bad must've happened to him or something, but knowing teenagers it must've been something silly, right?"

Renji took another sip of his sake and swallowed hard before nodding. "Yeah… he's alright though. Nothing wrong with him."

"That's good though. He had me a bit worried," she chuckled.

They were blanketed in silence again as Renji finished up his last cup of the wine. Rukia was still looking out distantly in deep thought, probably still thinking about Ichigo, while Renji, lost in his own thoughts, was suddenly feeling anxious.

"You would take care of Ichigo if anything happened to him, right Renji?"

"Wha-what?" The question caught the shinigami of guard as he looked at Rukia with confused eyes.

"If something ever happened to Ichigo, something he couldn't handle on his own, would you be there for him and help him out?" Rukia was staring at her empty cup as she spoke.

Renji felt his heart sink at the meaning of the girl's question. He felt such guilt suddenly build up in his stomach that he almost felt sick. Ichigo had been affected to bad that even Rukia had been forced to worry. Ichigo was falling apart and he needed someone there.

Could he be there for Ichigo if there was ever a point he needed someone most? Of course. Renji _was_ there. There was a point when the teen needed someone. But Renji was apart of the reason Ichigo's breaking down.

The question was simple but difficult to answer. Renji didn't know if he could always be there for the younger shinigami. Well, he had already been lying up to this point. More false hope wouldn't hurt…

"Yeah. I'd always be there."

**End notes: **Ugh…. I REALLY am displeased with this chapter… I don't think I gave enough. I wish I could've put more into it. I'm sorry if you guys are disappointed. And Im not sure if any of you noticed the title of each chapter comes from songs I listen to. I'd give you a special prize if you figure out each song. x3


	6. Torn Apart

_Identified_

_Chap. 6_

**A/N:** so the fifth chapter sucked ass. I hope this one is better. Thanks for bearing with me.

Some spoilers. Because I'm slowly (keyword) catching up by reading the online manga I've realized that I have been using some spoilers without even knowing it! I apologize! But now, I will be posting some better things, hopefully, in the future. I know that this fic is way off, timeline and arc wise… sorry. If I based this fic on the current arc I would have to completely change the whole fic so I'm just going to continue. You guys decide if you want to keep reading or not. I don't bother with details anymore. Four more chapters left depending on the choice you guys make at the end of this chapter.

**Warnings:** Umm… spoilers? After soul society?? Or the latest chapter in the manga?? I don't know… it's kind of too late now right? I don't even know what the hell I'm writing any more….

--

_Chapter Six_

_20. Torn Apart_

Renji suddenly felt a funny feeling in his… "chestal" area… that's what he told Rukia while making that hand gesture over his chest. It was a weird feeling, like a sort of pressure being applied to his chest before it dropped down to his stomach where he would get that butterfly feeling right after. His face scrunched up as he continued to feel that, what Rukia called anxiety. It bothered him though he tried his best to ignore it as both he and Rukia walked to Urahara Shoten for a meeting.

"What exactly are you worried about?" Rukia asked while adjusting her furry Chappy the Rabbit backpack.

Renji shook his head. "Nothing really. Just…some things," he said while scratching the back of his head in nervousness, something he did often when he felt uneasy.

"I don't know about you but a few things have been bothering _me_."

Renji raised a tattooed brow. "Like?"

"Like how almost everyone around me is acting funny. Everyone is acting strange."

Renji gave Rukia a look that said "what the hell are you talking about?" and she frowned.

"I can't believe you haven't noticed," she said in disbelief.

"Mind explaining?" Renji continued to look at his old friend in question.

"Well," she started with a sigh, "both Matsumoto-san and Hinomori-san have told me that Captain Hitsugaya has been acting very strange for some time. They said his behavior is different from before, as if his mind was stuck on something. He would space out for long periods of time in deep thought while doing his paperwork or drift off during a conversation. Rangiku also told me that lately he has been leaving the office early, saying he needed to do some kind of research." Rukia explained, effectively leaving out the part Rangiku said about her captain finally hitting puberty. The thought made the female shinigami flush.

"I guess that is kind of weird," Renji said thoughtfully as he raked his mind for any kind of odd behavior from the small captain in the past couple of days. "I guess if both Rengiku and Momo are worried about him then there must be something wrong."

"And then there's Ichigo," she continued.

Renji felt his heart jump a little. He knew she was going to mention him. Ichigo had been on her mind for quite some time.

"I'm very worried about him. He hasn't been himself for a while now. It bothers me how he wont let me help him. I know there's something wrong. I can just feel it, Renji."

Said shinigami looked at the girl whose face was written with concern as she looked on ahead and held a small fisted hand over her heart as if the thought of Ichigo pained her.

Renji let out a deep sigh and scratched the back of his braided head again and reluctantly said, "If we have time, we'll go visit him."

Rukia turned her head and looked up at the tall male before smiling warmly and turning her head back at the road. "Yeah. That would be nice."

"Anything you else bothering you?" Renji asked, wanting to change subject as quickly as possible.

"Yep. You."

Renji suddenly stopped and looked at her. "Me?"

The blue haired female stopped walking once she noticed Renji was no longer next to her and turned around to him staring at her with a confused expression.

"Especially you."

"What did I do?"

"It's not something that you did," Rukia began as she placed her hands behind her back and linked her fingers together as she lowered her head and looked at the open-toed white pumps she wore. "It's something that you are _doing_ and have been for a while."

Renji's red eyes were glued onto the girl as he waited for her to continue.

"I've known for a very long time. Since you're my best-friend, the one thing I want to do is help you. I know that something is bothering you, too. It kills me when you keep telling me that nothing is wrong when I _know _how you are. And I really hate it when you don't tell me what really going on."

She paused to let out a deep sigh. "I feel like everyone is hiding something from me. I wouldn't care so much about it if the two people I care about most would stop acting so abnormal; you, especially. I don't like it when I can't help my friends."

Renji's face contorted in guilt when he saw the concerned expression on Rukia when she looked up. "I won't force you to tell me what's going on. But at least let me help in some kind of way."

Renji looked away from Rukia's worried eyes and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Renji thought that all he was good for was hurting people. Rukia noticed his change in attitude and behavior and it was bothering her. If he ever told her the full story of what was _really_ going on between him and Ichigo, who knows how she would react.

"Renji," she called and he looked up. "Just remember if you ever need to talk about anything that I'll always be here to listen and help out."

"I know," Renji nodded, "if it was something horrible that I couldn't handle, I'd go straight to you." He smiled at Rukia reassuringly.

Rukia couldn't help but smile back at her old friend. "Good."

He started walking, his hands still in he pockets. Rukia turned around and began walking too, beside her best friend as they made their way to Urahara's in a comfortable silence.

--

When the two shinigami reached Urahara's shop, they met up with the rest of the group. The topic of the meeting was something that made Renji's heart wrench in guilt.

"I know that every one of you are here on some kind of specific assignment from Soul Society and all but the situation with Kurosaki-san is important as well," Urahara said.

"His troubled spiritual energy has been attracting more hollows than normal. I'm not sure if Sierite has noticed but with Ichigo in his current state will soon prove to be quite a problem in the near future."

"Yeah, I noticed Kurosaki-kun has already been purposely ignoring the hollows. Only when they get too close or when an Arrancar shows up does he ever really do anything," Ikakku said. "Other than that it's like he doesn't give a damn."

"If he refuses to fight then what good will he be in future battles against Aizen's army?" Hitsugaya said sternly, his gaze fixed on anything but the people around him. He seemed like he was in deep thought once again.

"We have to find out what's wrong with him. I suggest that whoever is closest to Kurosaki-kun should go and see him whenever you have time," Yoruichi said.

"The problem should be dealt with before it get's any bigger," Kisuke paused to look at the small captain. "Hitsugaya-kun. If Ichigo's state does not improve during your stay, then I ask of you to report the situation to Yamamoto and request an extension for you and your groups' time in the human world."

The 10th division captain looked up with his frost colored eyes at the shady shop keeper and nodded.

"Great!" the former shinigami bellowed happily as he waved his fan. "With that aside, I've asked Jinta, Ururu and Tesai to prepare dinner for us."

--

"Ichigo!" Yuzu called her brother for the umpteenth time today. She knocked once again, receiving the same response everyday. Nothing.

"Come on, your food's getting cold!"

"I'll eat later," came the annoyed reply from behind her brother's door.

Yuzu sighed in defeat and made her way back downstairs. She walked back into the kitchen to see her father already finished with his meal. He glanced at her with an almost hopeful expression on his face before it dropped to a disappointed frown when Yuzu shook her head.

"He wont eat anymore…" she said sadly as she took Ichigo's plate from the table to wrap it up incase he might want it later. He rarely ever did come down to eat like he said he would but there was a possibility.

Then there was a knock at the door. Yuzu put the plate away and hopped over to the door. When she opened it, there was Renji, looking annoyed as he idly adjusted his bright head ban.

"Renji-kun!" she chirped happily as she glomped him. "How are you?"

Renji chuckled and patted the girls head. "I'm good. You've grown since the last time I've seen you."

"I haven't grown that much!" she beamed and stepped aside to let the shinigami in.

"ABARAI-KUN!" Ichigo's dad came flying out of nowhere. "Good to see ya!" and delivered a karate chop to Renji's side, knocking the wind out of the man.

"Kuro…saki…san…" Renji struggled to say through gritted teeth as he forced himself to stay standing, but was failing miserable. Damn that man was strong.

"What brings you here?" Isshin asked while shooing his daughter off to make some tea.

"I came to see Ichigo. Is he home?" Renji asked as he rubbed his side where Isshin assaulted him.

"Of course he's here. But he's PMSing right now," Isshin said, whispering the last part as if not wanting Ichigo to hear.

Renji could not believe what the man had said and simply stared blankly at him.

"Okay, seriously, let's talk it over with some tea."

Renji nodded, relieved to see the Ichigo's father serious for once as he followed the former shinigami to the table and sat across from him while Yuzu already began setting the tray of tea down.

"Renji," the older man began once his daughter left the room, his face stern as he looked at the other. Renji suddenly felt uneasy. How that man converted from goofy to humorless was something Renji did not want to think about. "I'm going to explain to you the situation with my son."

Renji nodded and the man continued. "I'm assuming you already that something is wrong with him, that's why you're here, right?"

"I want to help him," Renji replied, looking down at his cup in thought.

"I see. I have a feeling you might be able to, considering you are his friend."

"Yeah," he said solemnly.

"If you've come under the orders of Soul Society for him to fight, I can't let you take him for his is no condition. But, if you're here to speak to him, that's fine with me. But either way, I ask you, because you are Ichigo's friend, to help him."

Renji looked up from his cup to Isshin. "What if I can't help him?"

"Would you give up?"

Renji stared at the older man's question. He began contemplate. Would he give up? Would he help Ichigo? What if Ichigo figured out that Renji was one of the rapists? What if he does find out later on? What if Ichigo didn't want to see him because he already knew? What if Ichigo didn't know but gave up trying to figure it out? What if Ichigo gave up everything all together?

"I might just make things worse," was Renji's reply as his eyes fell to the table.

"Are you saying you don't want to help a friend in need? Or are you afraid?" Isshin's question made Renji wince.

He sighed deeply as he thought over his options. Maybe helping Ichigo would be the best thing. He started this mess… he might as well try to fix _something_.

"I do want to help Ichigo. He's… my friend," Renji finally said after some time. "I'll help in any way I can."

Isshin smiled. "Good. Glad to hear it."

--

"How did I get stuck doing this…" Renji groaned as he climbed up to the open window of the teen's room. He remembered exactly how he got stuck in the situation. He knocked for a while, just idly banging his knuckles against the wooden frame until his hand went numb. Then Karin passed by and suggested he climb through the window because Ichigo never closes it. Renji went with it, forgetting he was in his gigai. It took quite some time to actually get anywhere near the window for every time he applied pressure to some part of the house, it would give in and crack, causing Renji to lose his balance and fall, where he would have to start again.

With a huff, he finally reached the ledge. But there was a slight problem.

The window was not open.

Renji scowled. What now? He wasn't going to give up, not after an hours worth of climbing (it would've actually taken him less than a minute had he not been so clumsy… or maybe jumped.). He began knocking hard.

"Ichigo! Let me in!" he called through the glass.

He saw Ichigo shifting in his bed and knew he was being ignored as the teen pulled the sheets higher.

"Open this window or I'll break it."

Ichigo didn't answer. Renji frowned again as he pulled the window forcefully in an attempt to break it but was thrown off balance when the window easily opened. He gabbed on to the frame of the window to keep from falling. The thing was never locked…

He hopped into the room, stepping on the bed while avoiding Ichigo's legs. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the young shinigami who was completely covered in his bed sheets.

"How long are you planning on lying there?"

Silence was Renji's answer. He sighed and looked away, his eyes falling on the stuffed lion plushie on Ichigo's desk. Since the first time he came since the incident, Kon remained untouched. His eyes roamed around the room in search of Ichigo's shinigami license and found nothing. Ichigo probably hid it somewhere. Renji's eyes narrowed slightly as an idea came to mind. It should work…

He got up and shook off his gigai and placed it on the floor against Ichigo's bed before walking over to the desk and picking up the mod-soul. He walked back over to Ichigo's bed and forcefully removed the covers off of Ichigo's body. As soon as the boy was ready to lash out at him, Renji grabbed his chin with one hand and shoved the pill in his mouth with the other. His shinigami form was forced out and Renji grabbed him by the collar then jumped out the window, leaving Kon in Ichigo's body looking completely infuriated.

--

"Ignoring me again?" Renji asked, annoyance hinted in his tone of voice. Ichigo kept his mouth closed and his eyes away from Renji as the older shinigami stared hard at him.

He sighed as he moved himself from the ledge of the building he and Ichigo were on top of before sitting himself in front of Ichigo who was sitting with his legs hugged against his chest. He only started to sit like that after Renji asked if anything happened while he was away.

"I have all night. Tell me what's wrong, tell me what's bothering you, what's making you feel this way. Tell me what's on your mind, how you feel, what you want to do, anything. I'll listen."

He saw Ichigo tuck his head more into his legs as he hugged them tighter. "I…" Ichigo's voice came out soft and shaky as if he trying to restrain himself from crying.

"I'm tired…"

_Great. Got him talking._ "Of?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Life…. It sucks…"

"So what do you want to do about it?" _One question at a time…_

"I… I want to cry. I want to make the pain go away. I want…." Ichigo paused to sniffle. Renji knew he was trying his best not to fall apart. "I want to know why it hurts so much and what I can do to make it stop."

"Does it hurt a lot?"

He saw Ichigo nod followed with a shaky "yes."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"You can't."

"What?" Renji blinked and stared wide-eyed at Ichigo. He had expected he would say otherwise.

"You can't." he tried to repress a sob. "I don't need any help."

"Ichigo, how do you expect to get better without even the slightest bit of help?"

When Renji didn't get an answer from the boy, he moved so that he could push Ichigo by his shoulders and pin him against the wall. His red eyes, firm with resolve, observed Ichigo. The teen was shivering and his glassy brown eyes were full of fear and confusion.

"You shouldn't handle this by yourself, Ichigo. Let me help me you. If forcing it on you is the only way to do it, then I will," Renji stopped, leaving no room to argue. The red head made up his mind. He was going to help Ichigo no matter how much the substitute shinigami refused.

"I don't want you locking yourself away from the world like that. It scares me to see you like that. Tell me what's going on so I can help you."

Ichigo looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm scared…"

Renji released his hold on Ichigo's shoulders and sat back only to pull him to his body and hug him tightly. "I know. I'm sorry for breaking my promises."

"You said that you wouldn't leave me… that you wouldn't let anything happen to me…" Ichigo said as he as rested his head on Renji's shoulder, already breaking into tears.

"Would you give me another chance?" Renji asked softly.

Ichigo nodded and fisted some of his shinigami uniform. "Don't leave me…."

He hugged Ichigo tighter as if to show he'd never let go. "I won't leave you ever again."

---

(Deleted Scene)((couldn't figure out a place to put it…))

_Ichigo's hollow stared up at the dark sky, grinning sadistically. Large drops of rain fell down on the world that was his kings. It was probably the worst storm his inner world ever had. Hichigo laughed when he heard thunder cracking. Zangetsu said nothing as he eyed the white hollow that seemed to enjoy the downpour._

"_You know Zangetsu," the inversed form of Ichigo began, his eyes never leaving the black sky. "I only like to get wet… when I'm the reason for his suffering."_

---

**Endnotes:** sooooo? Was this okay? I just had to show Renji's point of view and how Ichigo, being the way his is, is affecting everyone. REN ICHI in the next chapter! Yay!!

Okay, so… **VOTING TIME**. **VERY IMPORTANT!** Your decision will affect the outcome of the fic.

(1) Let the second rapist be the person I decided on and let the fic end with its remaining four chapters. A semi happy-ending.

(2) Let the second rapist be Aizen making the fic a little longer and ending tragically. A sequel will be written for it.

(3) Put both and make one of the choices an alternative ending or a separate fic.

(4) Whaaaaat?? You shouldn't even be allowed to finish this fic! You suck!

Yeah, I'm giving you guys only a couple of days before I post the next chapter. After that, the fic will reach its major turning point.

Thanks for reading! Review please! A cookie for all voters!


	7. Chapter 5 and 6

Identified

Chap 5

**A/N:** Because I'm a horrible, horrible, author, I did not explain the situation with Ichigo after his hollow had his way with him! I deeply apologize. So, to my loyal readers and reviewers, here is the missing piece to chapter five and six. This chapter is not the best either. I felt like crap when I wrote this. Sorry if I disappoint anyone.

**A/N3: **Two dashes (--) mean scene change. A boarder means a time lapse.

**Warnings: **Ichigo emo/OOC.

**Chapter Dedication:** Much thanks to every reviewer and reader. Without you guys I would have been abandoned this fic.

Special thanks to**Fierygirl0** for being my official beta reader for this fic. :3

--

_Chapter Five/Six_

--

Ichigo remained on the floor, staring blankly into nothing, his nude form shivering. His body was numb and he had no strength to move, even if he tried. The pain from Hichigo's "second round" was agonizing. Ichigo couldn't help but sob in silence. It wasn't tears of the physical pain, but the emotional pain he felt from being so weak and letting his own hollow take him so easily. He felt this burning sensation in his chest as he held in the need to cry out while on the ground of his living room. His body was covered in blood and bruises, some cuts deep and some bruises so red as if they'd split open form the swelling. He hated the feeling of being so weak and helpless, but there was nothing he could do. He was already beaten; his pride was crushed beyond repair.

His hollow stood above him, his grin wide in triumph and satisfaction.

"Look at you. Pathetic. Some King you are," he scoffed.

Ichigo shut his eyes tightly as he tried to ignore the taunting voice of his other half.

"Aw. Did I break you?" he teased and laughed, the sound echoing in Ichigo ears harshly. "I think the word 'broken' doesn't suite you. How about 'shattered'? 'Crushed' maybe? How about 'beaten'? 'Defeated'?"

Hichigo grabbed his king's chin and forced the other to face him. "You're nothing but a whore. You're weak and pathetic."

Ichigo said nothing and instead concentrated on holding the sobs that threatened to escape his throat but he couldn't hold back the tears. They fell freely, endlessly; to the point that Ichigo's eyes were red from the strain. The grin on Shirosaki's face grew wider at the sight.

"I was tired of the rain, ya know that? Just _so_ fucking tired of it. You had no reason to let it rain. It was pointless to have you emoing over something _so trivial_."

Ichigo tried his best to glare at his other half. "How would you feel after letting yourself be raped more than once?"

"Ha. As if I'd be weak enough to let that happen the first time. Idiot," Shirosaki spat as he let go of Ichigo's chin and moved to stand.

Ichigo decided not to move. The damage done to his body was too much. He continued to stare at nothing, his eyes unfocused. He heard his hollow dressing but still didn't move. Instead, he decided to ask the one question that had been bothering him since the beginning.

"Why?"

Shirosaki looked down at his King as he adjusted his hakama. The sadistic grin was gone and he glared harshly at his king, his yellow eyes burning into Ichigo. "I want to give you a real reason to cry. I want to show you what real torment is."

--

"_Partner!"_ Hichigo's sang teasingly followed with his mad laughter that echoed in the back of Ichigo's mind.

Ichigo let out a whimper as he held his head in his hands. His body shook uncontrollably, the pain coursing through his battered body making his head spin.

Ichigo cried. Hichigo chuckled.

"What do you want from me?"

This was the second night his hollow had been haunting him. The hollow refused to let him sleep, refused to let him do anything at all. He was intent on making Ichigo suffer until his sanity left him.

The hollow continued to laugh darkly. "_You know exactly what I want."_

Ichigo forced his eyes shut as his curled tighter in his bed, forgetting to be careful of the broken bones in his frayed body.

The hollow smiled cheerily and looked down at his tormented master. _"You don't how happy it makes me when I see you in pain… when I make you suffer…"_

Ichigo said nothing, only continued to cry into his pillow. Hichigo's face splitting grin couldn't grow anymore as he watched his King squirm.

He moved to the bed and flipped Ichigo over so that he now lied on his back before placing his arms on either side of Ichigo's head and leaned in close. Ichigo shut his eyes tightly and turned his head, fearing of what his hollow would do to him.

"_Let's make a deal, partner,"_ Shirosaki began, his trademark smile gone._ "I'll leave you alone…"_

There was a silence. Hichigo was eyes were staring at Ichigo whose face was turned away entirely out of fear. Ichigo couldn't help but keep his eyes closed, away from those yellow ones that reminded him too much of his own.

"_Show me that you can beat me,"_ his hollow started._ "Conquer me. Dominate me. I swear that I will never bother you again. As a matter of fact, I will be your slave; you could do whatever you please."_

Ichigo's eyes opened slowly, tears still in them, and turned his head to meet Shirosaki's stern gaze. He saw, in those golden yellow eyes always insane, that his hollow was speaking the truth…

"_But," _he continued,_ "If I ever take over you again your body belongs to me. Got it?"_

Ichigo looked at his hollow in question, "You want me to…?"

"_Take me. Show me who the real king of your world is again… but in a different sense. If you are capable of doing that then…"_

"Never again?"

"_Never again. You'll never have to worry about anything again. I will submit to you."_ Hichigo answered.

Was he really speaking the truth? Ichigo couldn't believe it. But looking into Shirosaki's eyes, they held a sort of sincerity that he never seen before.

"_But remember this, King…" _Shirosaki continued, his eyes never leaving Ichigo's. _"I am the only one who will ever make you cry. I showed you, first hand, the real reason why you should cry in the first place. Don't let anyone else take over you. Your body is my body. Only I have the right to destroy it. Understand?_

Ichigo nodded and the hollows trademark grin instantly returned to his face. _"Good! You have one week."_

--

_One week…_ Ichigo thought to himself as he tried to bandage his wounds again with his only functioning hand.

"_Problem?" _Hichigo's annoyed voice echoed in his head. _"I'll make it a day if it bothers you so much."_

Ichigo was silent and continued to fail at his attempt to wrap his broken wrist.

"_Thought so."_

Ichigo sighed, ignoring the hollow, and gave up at trying to fix his injured body altogether. Maybe calling Inoue would work. But he didn't want to drag her into his mess. She would start asking questions and if he didn't answer them she would start worrying. But there was no other way out of it. His family wasn't home yet to fix him either, thankfully. He didn't want them worrying over him too.

"_Call the girl. Unless you want to lose that hand of yours. We both know your left isn't as good as your right,"_ he chuckled.

Ichigo gritted his teeth at the hollows smart ass remark, which caused the other to laugh louder.

Inevitably, he ended up calling Inoue. When she came, she gasped at the sight of her friend, obviously not expecting for his injuries to be so serious.

"What happened?"

Ichigo was quick to think. "A Hollow… Caught me off guard."

"_Riiight… as if she'd believe _that_."_

Orihime eyed him worriedly before nodding. "Okay. Well, I'll fix you right away."

As expected, the young girl began to prod Ichigo with questions of which he chose not answer. Some he lied about though. Hichigo would laugh when the girl believed him. She left reluctantly afterwards, but not before saying if he ever needed anything not to hesitate to call her. Ichigo simply nodded to the girl and she gave him a sympathetic smile then left. Again Ichigo was alone in the house.

"_Why can't you date a hot chick like her? No. Instead you bother with a guy who's not even alive, let alone your age. He looks like a fucking weirdo and reminds me of a damn pineapple. Nice choice."_

"You're full of shit."

"_And you're full of me!" _Ichigo shuddered at that and Hichigo laughed.

* * *

Within a week's time, Ichigo was finally able to gain enough courage to face his hollow. He felt a bit nervous, considering his hollow was completely insane and he overpowered Ichigo mentally. And if Ichigo couldn't mentally conquer his hollow… well, we know what happens.

Ichigo let out a shaky breath as he opened his eyes. His inner world, this sideways world, it all seemed like it normally did. Nothing seemed wrong… except for the light grey clouds that covered the usual blue sky like a thick blanket. Standing a few feet away from Ichigo on one of the buildings that served as the worlds ground was his hollow, piercing yellow eyes staring right at him, waiting.

Ichigo let out a heavy sigh before speaking. "What am I supposed to do?"

Hichigo let out a bored sighed and tilted his head to the sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest casually. "I've told you over and over…" he said in a very bored tone.

"I…"

"Don't know how?" his hollow finished the sentence then laughed in amusement as he pulled out his sword. "Let your animalistic instincts drive you!"

Ichigo instantly unsheathed Zangestu just in time to block Hichigo's sudden attack.

"I shouldn't have to tell you to learn form your mistakes, Partner. I know you can fight it!" Hichigo said as he brought his own Zangetsu down for another blow. Ichigo blocked that as well, along with other attacks his hollow gave him.

"What exactly do you want me to fight?" He asked through gritted teeth, dodging a vertical slice by jumping backwards. He lunged forward and brought his sword down with a loud cry, but Hichigo blocked it just in time.

"Anyone who tries to overpower you."

Hearing that caused Ichigo to hesitate, the thoughts of the past washing over him. Shirosaki seized the moment to throw off Ichigo's balance by removing the pressure of his sword suddenly, causing Ichigo to stumble forward and Zangetsu to fall out of his hands due to his clumsiness. He pointed the sword to Ichigo's throat when tried to go after his weapon and the boy instantly halted.

"If you don't get over your emotions then what good are you?" Shirosaki voice said a very dangerous tone.

Ichigo didn't say anything to his hollow. There was nothing he could say. He simply held a stern look on his other half.

"Why do you refuse to fight them?!"

Ichigo didn't answer right away. He let his eyes fall from Hichigo's and he let out a shaky breath. "Because… I already lost."

Shirosaki's eyebrows knitted together and he gave Ichigo a look of utter disbelief. "So you're just going to give up?"

Again Ichigo said nothing. His hollow, who was now full of anger, moved his sword away from Ichigo's neck and tossed it away carelessly before grabbing the boy's shoulder tightly, shaking him as if trying to put some sense into him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he roared. "You can't just give up! I'm trying to help you!"

Ichigo's eyes snapped up to look at his hollow in confusion. "What?"

"I told you! I didn't want you crying over something so stupid! I want a king who's strong, who's almighty, who's a _beast_! But…" Hichigo had already calmed but he still had that anger swelling inside him. "You've shown me you were able to conquer me physically. You have the power that can beat anyone! But you have no power over your emotions. And because of that, you've grown weaker. Why can't you learn to get over what's happened?"

"I…" Ichigo started, his voice wavering from suppressing tears. "I just can't." Ichigo's eyes fell again and looked down, not wanting to see that rare sympathetic look his hollow was now giving him.

"So you _are_ giving up," The sound of disappointment in Hichigo's voice stung Ichigo.

The teen nodded anyway. He hated admitting it, he didn't want to believe it, but there was nothing that could be done. "I know when I've been defeated."

And it hurt.

Hichigo's hands slipped off Ichigo's shoulders and he stepped back. There was silence between them, and everything was still except for the wind that began to blow during their conversation. The sky had darkened and they took notice of the soft rumbling of thunder that erupted from the clouds.

Hichigo shook his head and looked up at the sky that should have been sideways. He couldn't tell anymore, the whole thing was covered in nearly black clouds.

"You're the King for a reason, Ichigo," Hichigo began as he looked back at said king. "Don't let that be a mistake."

"Why do you care?" Ichigo suddenly asked.

Hichigo sighed. "Because I can't stand to see my King fall from his throne."

--

Ichigo's eyes snapped open and they darted everywhere. He calmed when he realized he was in his room again. He let out a deep and heavy sigh as he buried his head in his pillows some more. He wanted to cry but… he knew he couldn't. He made a new deal with his hollow. After their conversation, Hichigo promised to no longer bother Ichigo, and dropped the old agreement, as long as Ichigo wouldn't let it rain anymore—at least not as hard. Ichigo still felt bad but he'd rather not think about it. He just rested in his bed, sighing and being depressed. He chose not to get up unless he _really_ had to. He just didn't want to do _anything_.

But today had to be the day his family came home…

Ichigo heard his father running up the stairs then slamming his door open to greet him in his usual manner.

"Oi! Son! Are you alive?!"

Ichigo said nothing as he hid his face under his blanket. His father noticed, blinking in confusion. "Hey, Ichigo, you alright?"

"Yeah," Ichigo replied through the sheets. "I'm just not feeling very well."

Isshin didn't believe him. "You want to talk or something? "

"No, I'm okay," he mumbled.

Isshin's eyebrows knitted in worry but decided not to ask what was wrong with his son, knowing that in time Ichigo will tell him. "Alright. Well, Yuzu's going to make dinner soon. Make sure you come down to eat."

"Yeah," Ichigo sighed.

* * *

"_Just lying here and thinking about your problems isn't going to do anything, King."_

"What do you know…" Ichigo mumbled, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.

"_You've been lying in your bed and doing absolutely nothing but thinking about what's happened for the past ten or twelve days now. So far… __nothing__ has changed. And I'm getting __very__ bored in here."_

"Ichigo!" his sister called from the other side of the door. "Come on, your food is getting cold!"

"I'll eat later," he said to her, his voice full of irritation.

"_You haven't eaten in days. She should just stop asking you."_

"You'd think she'd get it by now," the substitute shinigami sighed while turning in his bed.

"_So what now? Gonna think about Sir Tribal Tattoo again?"_

Ichigo groaned in annoyance. "No…"

"_Yeah, whatever. That's all you've been thinking about. That's all you __ever__ think about. Yeah, sure he makes you feel better just by thinking about him but just so you know, he's never coming back for you."_

"Renji doesn't lie," Ichigo said firmly to the hollow that haunted his head. "He's coming back. He promised."

"_He also promised he wouldn't leave you."_

Ichigo fell silent and hugged his pillow tighter.

"_He'd suck at being a boyfriend…"_Hichigo scoffed.

"What does it matter? That's none of your business," Ichigo frowned but a faint blush tainted his cheeks.

"_You want him," _Hichigo said in a teasing tone.

"No. I don't."

"_Stop being stupid, Ichigo," _His hollow chuckled. _"We've had this discussion before. Don't make me remind you, though I'd gladly do an encore."_

Ichigo rolled his eyes and tried to block Hichigo out of his mind. "Yeah, stop talking now…"

Shirosaki laughed then fell silent, no longer bothering Ichigo. After their new agreement, both he and his inner self came to some sort of odd and dysfunctional friendship. If another would look at the relationship Ichigo and Shirosaki had, they would think their friendship was disturbing but that was between them. They understood each other and that's all that really mattered.

Sudden knocking caused Ichigo to slightly jump in surprise.

"_Well, speak of the devil!" _Hichigo said in fake cheeriness.

Ichigo rolled his eyes then curling under the covers tighter. Renji was knocking at his door but he wasn't going to get up and let him in. Ichigo sighed, wishing Renji really hadn't shown up. He couldn't face him. Not after what happened with Hichigo. Not with the feelings he had for him. There was just no way.

"_So you're gonna ignore him? He came back just like you wanted him to. Why don't go see him?"_

'_Because… I just can't.'_ Ichigo thought.

Some time had passed and eventually, the knocking had stopped. Ichigo let out a relieved sigh. It's about time he gave up. He was knocking and fidgeting with the knob for a while already.

"Ichigo! Let me in!"

The young shinigami let out the most aggravated sigh. Damn him to hell. He just won't give up. Now he was trying to get to him through the window?

"_He must really want to see you…"_ Shirosaki commented, a little impressed with Renji's persistence.

"Open this window or I'll break it," he heard Renji say. The window muffled his voice a bit but Ichigo still heard him.

'_Damn…'_ Ichigo thought to himself. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to see Renji _right now_. He wasn't ready!

"_Maybe you can run? 'Cause you know… that's the only thing you're good at doing now…"_

Ichigo growled inwardly and again tried to ignore Hichigo as he hugged himself under his blanket. Maybe if he pretended to sleep, Renji would leave… Yeah! He would have to leave because the window was locked!

Hichigo scoffed again. _"You know he's getting in some how… and we both know you want him to."_

Ichigo heard the window open and stiffened. So the damn thing wasn't locked… Then again, he never locked it anyway out of habit when Rukia would crawl in at random times. He felt the bed shifting from Renji's weight being applied to it. There was silence in the room, a silence that unnerved Ichigo. If he just acted like he was sleeping then maybe—

"How long are you planning on lying there?"

He kept silent. He'll just ignore Renji, he'll leave eventually.

And the next thing he knew, the covers were suddenly pulled off him, his chin was grabbed, and a mod-soul pill was shoved down his throat. His soul form was shoved out of his body then he was instantly grabbed by the collar of his shihakusho and pulled out the window.

--

"What the hell!?" He roared. "Let go!"

Ichigo was abruptly dropped and he looked up at Renji with angry eyes. "What the hell is you're problem?!"

"I should ask you the same question," Renji snapped back firmly. "What happened?"

Ichigo got up and dusted himself off, disregarding Renji completely. "Don't ignore me."

"I can do what I want," Ichigo mumbled before turning around, his back to Renji. He didn't want to see his face—at least not at the moment. Ichigo took a minute to realize they were atop of a building. Renji must've flashed stepped them there. He really didn't want to know why and he didn't care either. He just wanted to go back home and lie in his bed again and… be unhappy.

'_Yeah… great way to spend the rest of my life…'_ he thought to himself sarcastically with a sigh.

"Ichigo…"

"What?!" he snapped bitterly. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"_What's this all of a sudden?" _Shirosaki started in amusement. _"A bit angry are we?" _Ichigo shook his head, getting rid of the annoying voice in his head. Why was he so angry? Was Renji's presence aggravating him?

"Talk to me." the red head finally said.

Ichigo chose not to reply and instead, after crossing his arms over his chest, started to walk over to the other side of the building to get as far away from Renji as possible.

But the other shinigami wouldn't have that. Ichigo was suddenly grabbed by his shoulders and forcefully turned to face the other male. "Talk to me, Ichigo!" Renji demanded.

"I don't have to tell you anything!" Ichigo yelled back pushing Renji off him. "Just back the hell off!"

Renji regarded Ichigo with narrowed eyes, as if studying him for a minute before saying, "You're angry with me… aren't you?"

Ichigo bit his lip in frustration and clenched his fist tightly, looking away from the other male.

"You're upset because I left you."

"I couldn't give a damn. I didn't expect you to come back anyway," Ichigo said irately before he turned and continued his walk to the other side of the building where he sat and rested his back against the ledge. Silence filled the night autumn air and uneasiness settled between the two shinigami.

Ichigo heard Renji moving closer and figured he was probably sitting on the ledge right next to him. He didn't want to look at Renji. For some reason when he did look at him, he felt an angry heat boiling in his stomach. The other's presence was enough to set him off again. He felt like Renji betrayed him somehow.

"Your father said you've been locked in your room since he came back. You don't go to school anymore and you haven't even been eating. Mind telling me what's been going on?"

Ichigo's reply was silence. He wasn't about to tell Renji anything anymore, only for him to leave again after making things better. He'd rather keep everything to himself. Yeah it was nice having the red head around, he was the only person that made him smile again, but he promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt him again. As soon he left… Ichigo didn't want think about it. He shut his eyes momentarily when he felt his eyes stinging.

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

Ichigo shifted and brought his legs up to his chest, hugging them, while resting his head on his knees. He felt comfortable curled up like this though he knew deep down (especially with Shirosaki reminding him) that he looked pathetic. He didn't care. He honestly didn't give a damn anymore.

"Ignoring me again?" Renji asked, annoyance hinted in his tone of voice.

Ichigo heard the red head sigh.

"I have all night, Ichigo. Tell me what's wrong, tell me what's bothering you, what's making you feel this way. Tell me what's on your mind, how you feel, what you want to do, anything. I'll listen."

Renji sounded sincere, pleading almost to hear anything from Ichigo.

But he wasn't going to talk. It was too painful. It was hard enough to keep remembering and even harder to admit how weak he was.

Ichigo twitched slightly when he felt Renji's hand on his arm. The contact startled him at first but then felt a bit secure. He remembered how safe he felt in Renji's arms after he was raped the second time. He felt a sense of relief when Renji was near; when Renji would hold him close. When Renji listened to him as he spoke, holding him as he cried, whispering words of comfort, he felt so much better afterwards.

"_You have to let it out sometime, King. You know he'll listen."_

Ichigo hugged his legs tighter, digging his fingers into his legs. "I…" he stared, his voice shaky. He didn't want to cry, he had cried enough but for some reason it was getting harder and harder to hold it in.

"I'm tired… I'm so tired."

"Of?" he heard Renji ask softly.

"Everything." Ichigo felt his throat dry up, his eyes welling up with tears.

"Everything?"

Ichigo shook his head and sniffled. "Life…. It sucks…"

"So… what do you want to do about it?"

"I… I want to cry. I want to the pain to stop. I want…." Ichigo paused to sniffle again. He tried to hold in a whimper but was failing miserably. "I want to know why it hurts so much and what I can do to make it stop."

"Does it hurt a lot?" Renji asked in the same tone, squeezing Ichigo's arm softly.

Ichigo nodded in reply with a shaky "yes."

"Do you want me to help you?"

Ichigo shook his head. "You can't."

"What?" he heard Renji ask in disbelief.

"You can't. I don't need any help."

"Ichigo… how do you expect to get better without even the slightest bit of help? You know you can trust me."

No he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted believe that he knew he couldn't. Something in the back of his mind was telling him that Renji was going to leave him again. He wanted the help, he _needed _the help, but he couldn't take it. Not from Renji, he didn't want to burden him with any more of his problems. He had to learn how to do things on his own and stop being so weak.

He let out a surprised gasp when his shoulders suddenly pushed and pinned against the wall. He couldn't help the shaky whimper as he looked up at Renji's firm eyes with his own tear filled ones.

"You shouldn't handle this by yourself, Ichigo." he started, his tone unwavering. "Let me help me you. If forcing it on you is the only way to do it, then I will. I don't want you locking yourself away from the world like that. It scares me to see you like that. Don't just ignore everyone and distance yourself without telling anyone or asking for help. I'm worried about you, Ichigo. Tell me what's wrong so I can help you."

Ichigo looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm scared…"

Renji released his hold on Ichigo's shoulders and moved back only to pull the younger shinigami to his body and hug him tightly. "I know... I'm sorry for breaking my promises."

Ichigo buried his head into his chest, the tears falling as he spoke. "You said you wouldn't leave me… that you wouldn't let anything happen to me."

Renji gently curled his fingers in Ichigo's hair. "Would you give me another chance?"

Ichigo nodded and fisted some of his shinigami uniform. "Don't leave me…."

Ichigo felt himself being hugged tighter with Renji whispering in his ear, "I won't leave you ever again."

--

Shirosaki looked up; he smirked and chuckled a little. They sky had finally cleared up.

* * *

**Endnotes: **Don't ask me wtf happened in this chapter though I hope you guys liked this one better than the last. Later on it will be combined with the other to make a whole chapter. The "Sir Tribal Tattoo" is a nickname that my friend Izzy made up for Renji so DON'T steal it. You may borrow the name, but you gotta give us credit. Seriously. Also, the next chapter will be up soon. No lie. No really, I'm not lying. It will be very fluffy so you are warned. Reviewz plz…. :D


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N:** what was the point of the last chapter? I don't know… but look. Here's the next chapter! This fic isn't turning out as I planned. And I'm not updating like I promised before. Sorry guys, please don't kill me. Karma is now smacking me in the face… but thanks to all the FRAKIN REVIEWS!! I heart you guys! 167 reviews are the most I've EVER gotten. Thank you! ^^ Oh! And should I put a "story so far" section? So everyone can keep track of major events?

ENJOY.

**A/N: I still don't know Bleach very well so I apologize and the fic is absolutely based on no arc. Like I said it is very AUish. I suck at writing fight scenes **so I kind off cut it short (I didn't put anything at all). I might throw it in later. I wrote this **before** I saw the fillers and the arrancar arc. Again I apologize.

**Warnings:** None. :)

--

Chapter Seven

--

When the two came back, Kon was seated on Ichigo's bed looking like he would kill anything that crossed his path. As soon as Kon saw Ichigo, he was on. He yelled at Ichigo as if leaving him in mod-soul form for almost a month was the worst thing for him to do.

"YOU'RE SUCH A BA—" Renji cut Kon short by shoving Ichigo's shinigami license into his face and grabbed the pill mid air.

"Should we put him back? He kind of deserves his freedom again," Renji said, feeling a bit sympathetic for the mod soul in his hand.

"Later…" Ichigo yawned before climbing back into his body and lying on his bed, burying his face in the pillow.

Renji shrugged and placed the pill back in its previous spot on the desk before he went back to his gigai. He moved to sit beside the boy on the bed and began running his fingers through Ichigo's hair. Ichigo sighed contently and finally felt relaxed. They were in comfortable silence before Renji decided to speak.

"You ready to tell me what's happened?"

Ichigo let out a deep sigh, not sure if he was actually in the mood to explain anything to Renji. There's was too much to say. He knew he could trust Renji. He's been helping him out so much, being the caring friend he is, but there was some things that not even Rukia knew. He still didn't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone about his inner hollow. Most of his friends knew it existed (no thanks to Rukia) but telling Renji of the recent events he experienced with his hollow would seem rather odd. What would Renji think of him after that? He wouldn't understand the odd relationship Ichigo and Shirosaki shared.

"You don't have to say anything now…" Renji suddenly said after hearing Ichigo's silence. "I guess its okay to tell me when you feel like it. I'm not gonna force it out of you now." He blushed slightly after hearing himself sound too much like a caring boyfriend and after clearing his throat said, "But you better tell me soon or I will beat it out of you!"

Ichigo, now relieved, smiled and nodded. "Okay."

They were blanketed in a comforting silence again, not saying another word to each other.

---

"I'm starving!" Renji announced as he walked down the stairs to the dinning room where Yuzu was preparing the plates for everyone.

"You know the rules Renji-kun! Guest or not, no dinner until you've brushed your teeth!" Yuzu reminded the red head while waving the rice spoon at him.

"I already did!" he flashed a grin at the young girl to reassure her. She smiled at him and handed him a tray with meals for two.

"Good. Make sure Ichigo-nii does too."

"But more importantly make sure that he eats something," Ishinn added as he came into the dinning room to join his daughters for dinner.

Renji nodded in understanding, "Of course." Lastly, he thanked Yuzu for cooking the meal and left up stairs to Ichigo's bedroom. He kicked the door open gently, seeing as his hands were full at the moment and walked into the room, placing the tray on the teenager's empty desk. He looked at Ichigo, who was sleeping soundly on his bed before looking over to the door when he heard soft foot steps approaching. Yuzu walked in with a tray of tea and smiled.

"Couldn't leave you guys thirsty," she whispered sweetly, not wanting to wake her brother. Again he thanked the young girl as she placed the cups of tea beside their food.

"By the way, I'm making your favorite for dessert."

Renji almost squealed in excitement, a wide and greedy smile on his face. "Tayaka cakes?!"

She nodded, "Yup, for taking care of my brother. It's my way of saying thank you."

Her way of saying thank you? How sweet, Renji thought. He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do anything for him, that he was glad to help out (even though the entire situation was his fault to begin with) but she had left, with a sweet smile and closed the door softly behind her.

Renji let out a sigh. Ichigo's family was way to kind to him. He had only been around for a few days and he already felt like he belonged with them, as if he were apart of the family. Karin had even said to him this morning that he acted like a big brother Ichigo never had. Hearing things like that was nice and everything but still… he shouldn't even be here. It was his fault that Ichigo is in the state he's in anyway. Renji just had to fix what he messed up. It was only fair.

The red head walked over to the berry head lying on the bed with his face buried within the sheets rather than in a pillow. Renji couldn't help but smile. Ichigo did look adorable when he slept, even if you couldn't see his face but he could only imagine what that would look like. If he could hear the boy snoring through the sheets then he knew that the teenager was probably drooling all over them.

He poked Ichigo on his side and the shinigami instantly flinched. Renji's smile turned into a smirk. "Ichigo," he called. "Get up. Dinner," and poked the boy again.

An annoyed moan sounded from within the comforters and Renji chuckled before poking the boy again, making him shift sharply.

"Come on Ichi. You gotta get up. You've been sleeping all day."

Renji was sure he heard something about five more minutes but he wasn't going to honor the boys request and instead began poking Ichigo on both sides of his torso. Renji began to laugh as he watched Ichigo twitch away from the offending fingers. He knew Ichigo was a bit ticklish but not _that _ticklish. After sometime Ichigo grew annoyed and pushed Renji off the bed with one hand before grabbing a pillow and jumping on the red headed shinigami, pinning him on to the floor, and then smothering him with a pillow all in an instant.

"Got a kick out of torturing me, did ya?" Ichigo spat as he pressed the pillow deeper into his face, hoping the vice-captain would stop breathing.

"Ah'm shorry!" Renji repeated through the drool drenched pillow.

Reluctantly, Ichigo pulled the cushion away and glared at Renji who was still laughing.

"You suck," Ichigo frowned.

"Yeah, well, you can't sleep _all _day," the other reminded.

"Actually I can. You just won't let me," Ichigo sighed tiredly as he removed himself off Renji and sat back on the bed.

"No I won't. Besides, you gotta eat your sisters delicious cooking!" he said enthusiastically, jumping to his feet and almost running over to the desk to grab the tray of food. "It's still warm!"

Ichigo could only sigh. He didn't feel like eating, but Renji would never leave him alone if he didn't take at least one bite. So the younger shinigami didn't argue as the other placed the tray on the bed and accepted the chopsticks handed to him. Ichigo looked at the bowl of rice as if it were the nastiest thing in the world right now but he picked up the bowl regardless and forced himself to eat some of it. He never remembered rice being so hard to eat until just recently. It felt as if he were swallowing pebbles. Not that the food tasted bad, it honestly didn't. He hadn't eaten in so long that his stomach simply wasn't used to it anymore.

Renji silently watched the other as he ate his own food. Ichigo looked as if he were dying to spit out. Renji had to give the boy credit though. He was trying, so that was enough to satisfy him. He placed his plate down and reached for the cup of tea Yuzu bought up for them and handed it to Ichigo.

"Not too fast. You might throw up again."

"I want too," Ichigo admitted easily as he gratefully accepted the tea and took a much needed drink.

Renji's nose wrinkled slightly in disgust when he remembered Ichigo puking on him the first time he forced him to eat. "Well, you haven't… so I guess you're doing better."

"Eh…" was his reply as he picked up the bowl to try and eat again.

True, he was improving. Before Renji came he wasn't eating at all. Actually he wasn't doing much of anything until the shinigami showed up. After the incident with Shiro he felt worse than dog shit. He had let his emotions get the better of him until the red head cheered him up. In a matter of days Ichigo was no longer sulking in his bed and now up and doing the usual. It was a slow process but he was progressing nonetheless.

"I'm done for today," he announced as he pushed the half eaten bowl of food away.

"That's good enough," Renji said with a smile as he took Ichigo's leftovers and placed it on the desk along with his own. He wasn't going to eat too much. He wanted to save some room for his dessert!

Ichigo stretched his arms out and let out a long yawn. "I'm in need of a shower."

"Then afterwards are you up for some soul reaping?"

Ichigo contemplated the idea. He hadn't been doing his job like he was supposed to. He did feel guilty for that especially since Renji had to go do it for him.

"Well… I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon. But _only_ if there's Hollows nearby."

"Cool. And then we'll hit the books."

"What?" Ichigo asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," the red head started as he stood up. "You have to get ready to go back to school soon. You're already far behind. We don't want you to lose your place in honors, right? And in Japan, you guys pay for schooling, right? So that should be more than enough reason to go back."

"Pah…" Ichigo nearly whined as he dropped his head and let out an angry huff. "I really don't care for school right now. And besides…" he let himself drop onto the bed again and sighed. "I'll have to see everyone again. They're going to litter me with nothing but questions that I can't even answer. Not honestly anyways."

"Then I'll tell them to back off. And if you're worried about Orihime and the others, don't. I'll handle it," Renji said reassuringly.

The teen turned his head to face Renji who was now rummaging through Ichigo's clothes to find something for the both of them to wear. Since he's been there, Renji had been borrowing some of Ichigo's clothes, at least the ones that fit. His body was built bigger than Ichigo's and the teenager's styles of clothing were all tight fitted. He had to go through piles (who knew this kid owned so much clothing?!) until he found something decent for himself. Something that Ichigo found too baggy and Renji found slightly tight. The red head turned around and smiled at the other as he walked out of the room.

"Seriously, don't worry so much. Everything will go back to normal."

He waved for Ichigo to follow and the boy peeled himself off of the bed. _I wish_… Ichigo thought. Nothing will ever get back to normal; no matter how many times Renji promised it. He knew since the day that he was raped things would never be the same. It happened almost a month ago but the memory still haunted him. Within a few weeks he was raped not just once but three times, and one out of those three times it was by his inner self which served to worsen things. As if not knowing who the other two were was bad enough. He no longer felt like himself. He felt used and weak. How could he protect others if he couldn't even protect himself?

"Ichigo?"

He was instantly pulled out of his negative thoughts when Renji poked his head. Brown eyes met with concerned red ones.

"You okay?"

Ichigo nodded while letting out a sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Stop thinking so much. You're too young for that," Renji said as he ruffled Ichigo's hair.

"A hot bath will make you feel better," Renji flashed Ichigo a smile and pulled him into the bathroom.

This became their routine thing, Ichigo jumping into the tub with Renji acting as a sort of body guard. In all honesty, he was only keeping his promise to Ichigo but also give the other a sense of comfort.

Since Renji came from Soul Society, he had been with Ichigo almost every second, most especially when the other wanted to bathe since it happened to be Ichigo's worst enemy. He swore up and down to Ichigo that he'd never leave him, _ever_, and he would keep his eye on him at all times.

He smiled inwardly when he remembered the first time he started accompanying Ichigo. It was the most awkward thing in the world. Especially since Ichigo couldn't just ask him. Renji somehow read the teens mind and volunteered to stay with him. The shinigami had to somehow break the awkward silence and thought the best way to do that is by singing the most retarded song he could think up. He asked Ichigo if he had ever watched the anime 'Fruits Basket' and then started singing Momiji's song. Much to his surprise, Ichigo knew the words. And since then, the two have now gone from singing stupid little anime songs to having full conversations and joking around.

After removing their clothing and wrapping a towel around themselves, and just when they were going to step into the hot water of the tub, someone knocked. Ichigo went over to answer and saw his baby sister wrapped in a towel herself.

"You said I was old enough to bathe by myself but…" Yuzu said, pouting adorably, "…since Renji-kun is here and all I thought…"

"….that maybe you could join?" Ichigo finished. Yuzu nodded and Ichigo pulled her into the bath room casually.

"The more the merrier!" Renji added, lighting up the mood in an instant.

--

"You're sister is absolutely adorable," Renji said as he dried his hair with a towel.

Ichigo waved him off as he threw himself on his bed again. The feeling of lying on a cozy tussled bed after a hot bath was enough to put him back to sleep.

"Ichigo," Renji started as he sat down beside the other and began poking his back. "You promised we'd go out and do some reaping tonight."

"I told you only if they're near by," he replied with a yawn.

"Then in the meantime you should start some school work or something," Renji suggested, still poking the other.

Ichigo groaned in annoyance as he grabbed Renji's arm and pulled him down on the bed so the other was lying next to him now. He moved so that his head and arm were now resting on Renji's chest. Renji began to run his fingers through Ichigo's bright hair, something the teen enjoyed and it seemed to relax him but it was also something they did all the time. Renji smiled softly as the thought of how Ichigo grew so comfortable around him came to mind.

"I don't want to do anything…today." Ichigo said. His voice was soft and tired.

"Fine," Renji replied with a small smile. "Lazy."

--

"_Matsumoto."_

_Hitsugaya received nothing in reply but silence. His eyes gazed around the office in search of his said woman but found no one. He half-expected to see his vice-captain taking a "beauty" nap on the sofa._

"_Matsumoto," he called again, hoping that maybe Rangiku was at least outside the room, but still no answer. That's when he remembered she had run off to do an errand. But that was an hour ago._

_The young captain sighed in exasperation as he rose from his seat and headed for the door. He had a mess of paperwork to complete but a walk to 6__th__ Division wouldn't hurt. Besides, he wanted to speak with Renji anyway. He needed to know the situation with Ichigo since Renji had been the only one seeing him. Not that he cared too much about Ichigo but, there was something he had heard the other day. It bothered him._

_As Toshiro made his way to 6__th__ Division, he began to think. He wasn't sure if he misunderstood the conversation or simply heard wrong, but what if what he heard was the truth? Maybe Ichigo's melancholy was caused by Renji._

_No, he shouldn't assume. He should ask Izuru. The day Hitsugaya overheard the conversation, Renji was talking to Kira._

"_He knows something," Toshiro said to himself. "Or maybe I'm over reacting…"_

_Hitsugaya slowly came to a stop when he heard muffled voices coming out of Captain Byakuya Kuchiki's office. He masked his spiritual energy so that he could listen in. It sounded like an argument._

"_I believe you've done enough, Abarai."_

"_But Captain Kuchiki, I-"_

"_You think to play me a fool?"_

"_No. No Captain, I don't."_

"_Then you will remain here in Soul Society; away from Kurosaki."_

"_But Captain!"_

"_That is an order. Or need I remind you of our objective?"_

"_No sir."_

_Then there was silence. They must've sensed him. Quick to react, Hitsugaya knocked on the door before sliding it open._

"_I hope I'm not interrupting anything," the young captain began, acting as though he weren't eavesdropping. He looked over to Renji who had his head bowed before facing Byakuya who sat elegantly behind his desk._

"_How may I help you Captain?" Kuchiki asked. Straight to the point, Toshiro thought._

_Toshiro sensed the suspicion in Byakuya but the other captain always spoke in such a calm tone it was hard to tell what he was thinking._

"_Actually, I've come here to see if Abarai has let his captain know that he was to leave with me to the human world tomorrow."_

"_He will not be accompanying you, unfortunately," Byakuya said almost instantly in response._

_Toshiro's eyebrows raised slightly in confusion. "Why not?"_

"_Vice-Captain Abarai does not have to go. He has things to take care of here in the Soul Society. I'm sure you can find someone else," the older captain explained indifferently._

"_I specifically chose him to be in my team for obvious reasons, Captain." _

"_Captain Hitsugaya, have you forgotten who __**his**__ captain is? I gave him the order to remain here in Soul Society because I am his superior, not you. Find someone else."_

"_It is an order from General Yamamoto himself, __**your**__ superior. I cannot find someone else, even if I wanted to."_

_There was a moment of silence as Byakuya neatly stacked his finished paperwork before he finally spoke. "I suppose it's settled, then. Renji, prepare yourself to leave with the captain. You are dismissed."_

"_Y-yes, Captain," Renji stammered as he quickly bowed and left the room._

_No other words were said between the two captains and Hitsugaya left after Renji. The young captain, as he walked back to 10__th__ division, wondered why was Kuchiki refusing to let Renji go?_

"Hey, Captain!"

Hitsugaya snapped out of his thoughts and looked over to the person who interrupted him. "What is it Matsumoto?"

His vice captain, Rangiku, walked across the rooftop to him who was sitting close to the edge of it. "Well, I made dinner but you never came down to join me and Orihime… so I bought the food up to you!" Rangiku said with a smile as she handed Toshiro a small sealed Styrofoam platter.

"You're idea of making dinner is ordering out?"

"But of course!"

The young captain couldn't help but smile a little at her innocent idiocy. "Thank you."

"No problem! Holler if you need anything!" She said as she turned to leave but Hitsugaya stopped her when he called her back.

"What's up?" she said while making her way back to her captain then sat beside him on the roof of Orihime's apartment building.

He opened the box to see the Chinese take-out classic, General Tsao. Toshiro began to pick at his food with a plastic fork for a time before his vice-captain decided to speak.

"Seems like something is bothering you."

"Have you heard from Renji yet?" The young shinigami asked suddenly, keeping his eyes on his food but never taking a bite.

Rangiku raised an eyebrow in question, "Not recently. Why?"

Toshiro shook his head. "No reason. Just wondering about Ichigo's situation."

"Actually," the woman began. "Rukia ran into Renji. She told me she had asked him about Ichigo and said he was doing better but he needs more time… or something like that."

"Well that's good, I suppose," he said, finally taking a bite of his dinner.

"You like Ichigo, don't you?" Rangiku suddenly said, causing the white haired captain to choke on that single bite of food and making her laugh.

"Matsumoto! What the hell?!"

She laughed, "I've never seen you so flustered!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hitsugaya said in a tone that meant 'drop it or die.' But she pressed on anyway.

"Captain, seriously. I knew from the beginning you had a crush on Ichigo. He _is_ cute."

"Matsumoto…"

"I've never seen you so concerned for someone, except for Momo. I see you're trying to hide it but, c'mon. You can't fool ol' Rangiku. I know men better than anyone!"

Toshiro cleared his throat sternly and his vice-captain finally shut up, of course not without cracking up again. They were quiet again for some time, Rangiku not saying anything for some odd reason and Toshiro actually eating. Then Hitsugaya finally spoke up after the earlier thoughts started bothering him again.

"Rangiku… remember what I told you the other day about Renji?"

"You mean about the funny things you've been hearing lately? Which by the way, I think you should stop eavesdropping, that's unbecoming of you, you know."

"Matsumoto, I don't know, but I have a bad feeling. There's something going on and I know Renji has something to do with whatever it is. I wish I knew what it was…"

"I think you're over thinking it. Or are you jealous that Renji is spending _way_ too much time with Kurosaki-kun?" she teased.

"This is serious Matsumoto!" Again Toshiro blushed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! But I think you're right…. Something is going on. Hinomori seems to know something as well." Rangiku said thoughtfully. "She hasn't said a word of it yet but, I can tell Izuru let her in on the situation."

"It's only a matter of time then. Eventually, she'll say something, knowing Momo."

Suddenly, there was a loud boom sound, almost like rumbling thunder. Both Hitsugaya and Matsumoto looked around in question before sensing the harsh spiritual pressure.

"It' arrancar." Matsumoto said to her captain, slightly nervous.

"No… an Espada."

--

Both Ichigo and Renji awoke with a start, sitting up on the instantly.

"Do you sense that?" Renji asked.

"Yeah," Ichigo nodded slowly, "the spirit energy of an arrancar."

Then suddenly they heard a thunderous boom, and crashing sounds dangerously close to them. Without a second thought Renji jumped out of his gigai while Ichigo swallowed the mod-soul, detaching his soul from his body in an instant while Kon took over.

"Ichigo, what the hell is going on?" the mod-soul asked, still fuming.

"No time to explain; just make sure no one get's hurt." He said lastly as he and Renji both jumped out of the window and made their way to the source of the noise and energy.

Upon reaching their destination, they saw nothing but fresh building wreckage while standing on the rooftop of another building.

"I feel it… it's here," Ichigo said.

"That's because I am."

The two shinigami looked instantly to the direction of the voice to see a blue haired Arrancar, standing boldly with a smug smirk and arms crossed over his chest, giving off a very cocky appearance.

"If it isn't my favorite shinigami!"

"Grimmjow," Ichigo scowled. "Why are you here? What do you want!"

The Arrancar snickered. "It's not exactly your business but…"

In an instant Ichigo had his sword out, blocking Grimmjow's sudden attack. It happened so quickly, not even Renji caught until Grimmjow was already speaking while pushing his arm against Ichigo's blade.

"I'm just here to kill some time."

A deadly fight begins between the two shinigami and the arrancar, a fierce battle that by far one of Ichigo's and Renji's toughest. Grimmjow was a strong and extremely deadly opponent, and showed no mercy. He teased and played with the shinigami, wanting to push the two over the limit. Grimmjow craved for battle, especially against Ichigo. He had this odd fascination with the shinigami. Something about him made Grimmjow want to come back for more but not exactly kill the boy. More like toy with him. Fight against his shinigami friend at the same time proved to be quiet entertaining.

Unfortunately, Renji was losing it, and Ichigo noticed. He saw how drained the red head looked and this did not help the situation. If Ichigo noticed, so did Grimmjow. He saw the blue haired Arrancar smile cockily before he tried to attack Renji. Somehow, only the Gods know, Ichigo made it in time to block Grimmjow's attack. His arms trembled as he tried to push Grimmjow back with his sword, but the Arrancar was so fast he caught Ichigo off guard, hurling him into the debris.

"Bastard!" Renji roared as he and Grimmjow engaged in their own battle, but Renji was not as fast or as strong as Ichigo to keep up with the Arrancar. Renji took massive damage and was also thrown in the wreckage.

As Grimmjow was about to deliver the final blow, Ichigo yet again from out of nowhere appeared in time to block the attack.

"You're just like a Goddamn bug. You keep coming back no matter how many times I crush you," Grimmjow scowled.

"Ichigo!"

Both males turned their heads to see Captain Hitsugaya and Matsumoto approaching.

Grimmjow's smirk returned. "I see the cavalry arrived. More fun for me."

"Wait!" Ichigo cried. Just as the two pulled out their zanpakuto, Ichigo stopped them. Both captain and voice stared at Ichigo oddly, confused at why he would tell them such a thing.

"Forget about me, take Renji to Orihime. Hurry."

Toshiro was the first to speak up, "But what about you Ichigo?"

"I got this, just go!" he said impatiently. He then threw Grimmjow back by pushing him off once again with his sword. As their battle continued, both shinigami recovered Renji from the wreckage and flash stepped their way to Orihime.

The battle lasted for a while longer, this time Ichigo was fighting angrier, fueled by rage. Grimmjow liked to see that, he wanted Ichigo to get angry, it made the battle better. But why was so fumed? Was it because he harmed his friend?

Just as Grimmjow knocked Ichigo backwards and was ready to deliver another deadly attack, the Espada was stopped. Grimmjow scowled when he looked at the person who dared interrupt his fight. And he was having so much fun!

"Ulquiorra," he acknowledged bitterly. "What do you want?"

"We are done here," the forth Espada said, opening the vortex to Hueco Mundo. Nothing else was said and the two left through the dark opening as if nothing happened.

Ichigo let out a relieved yet tired sigh. But he had no time to relax or think about the reason why the arrancars appeared. He had to know if Renji was okay. But before he had the chance to actually go anywhere, Rangiku showed up.

"What happened? Is Renji okay?" He asked immediately.

The vice captain nodded. "He'll be okay. We took him to Urahara Kisuke."

Ichigo was puzzled and his face said it loudly. "What? Why?"

"Orihime's missing."

---

"What _is_ going on?" Ikkaku questioned out loud, completely baffled with the situation.

"I believe the arrancar that attacked was a diversion so that another could run off with her," Hitsugaya explained.

"You think so?"

"It's the only thing that explains why Orihime suddenly vanished during the fight," Ichigo said. "They got to her when no one was freakin' looking."

"So, what now?" Hanatoro asked with a sigh.

No one answered right away. Everyone who was sitting in Urahara's shop was completely and lost in their own thoughts for some time before one of the shinigami spoke up.

"There's not much we can do right now," Urahara said casually. "There's no way you can bust into Hueco Mundo to rescue her right now."

"So what should we do?" Rukia asked.

"We wait," the shady shopkeeper replied.

Everyone audibly sighed. It nothing but silence yet again, everyone lost in thought but Ichigo was a bit nervous. He knew it was coming. He wasn't ready to play 21 questions yet but regardless someone was bound to ask.

"Ichigo…"

He just KNEW it was going to come out of Rukia. Just as she was about to ask the question, Renji stepped. Ururu was following behind him, asking him to rest some more but not without adding his nickname 'free loader' at the end of the sentence.

Everyone was glad to see Renji okay, thanks to Hanatoro and Tessai. Ichigo was especially happy to see the red head up and walking almost two hours after the battle but he didn't exactly show it.

His forehead was wrapped in bandage as well as his torso. His body was covered with cuts and bruises but it didn't hurt as bad as they looked. He smiled and joined the rest of the group, asking "What did I miss?" He was briefed on the situation and that smile turned into an ugly frown.

"But what do they want with her?" He asked.

"Quiet possibly her powers," Urahara answered.

"And there isn't much we could do about it…" Rangiku sighed.

"We'll talk about it further tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have some ideas on what to do next," Urahara said and suggested everyone go and rest.

As everyone got up to leave, Rukia asked Ichigo again, "Have you been alright?"

_Ugh…_ Ichigo thought. _There is no way of escaping this._

_Just tell them some lie or something so they can get off your back, _Shirosaki suggested.

Ichigo ignored his inner hollow and answered Rukia's question by saying that he's doing good.

She wouldn't accept that and pressed, "We've been worried about you Ichigo."

"I'm fine now really. I'm sorry I worried you," he said in a tone that wasn't remotely close to apologetic.

No one said anything more. Ichigo turned to leave, Renji following. As they hit the door, Rangiku said, "We're you're friends Ichigo. Remember that."

Ichigo stopped, and turned his head slightly and nodded. "I know. Thanks."

--

"What a night!" Renji yawned loudly as he scratched his arm. He really was completely tired out. He saw Ichigo placing the mod-sol on the table next to the lion bear again for the forth time already. Renji noticed Ichigo's hand trembling slightly; slightly but noticeable.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he sat beside Ichigo on the bed.

"I don't know…" Ichigo started softer than intended. "I guess I'm still a little shaky."

"From what?"

Ichigo was silent for a moment and made no attempt to look up at Renji. Actually, he was staring quiet hard at his fidgeting hands. He was picking at his blanket, a habit Renji sort of passed on to Ichigo when he was nervous. The red head began to think he wasn't going to answer him at all when suddenly he spoke.

"I guess… the thought of losing someone I care about again. It scares me."

Renji's eyes widened slightly. "Ichigo?" Was he hearing things?

He heard the boy sigh before speaking, still making no eye contact. "I just… I don't know." Ichigo then chuckled sadly. "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have even said that."

"Why?" Renji asked, confused.

Ichigo shook his head. "I mean… what I want to say… what I'm _trying_ to say is…"

"What?"

"_CHRIST ICHIGO!" _ his hollow yelled from inside his head. _"Just say something, do something, anything!"_

With a frustrated sigh, simply to humor his Shirosaki, Ichigo grabbed Renji by the collar and closed the gap between them, crushing their lips together for a firm kiss. It only last two seconds, literally and it ended as quickly as it was initiated. Ichigo pulled away and turned away, his cheeks burning and his face felt hot with embarrassment.

_What the hell did I just do?! _He practically yelled at himself.

Just as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Ichigo felt Renji's hand gently take hold of his chin and turn his head to face him only to be welcome by Renji's lips pressed yet again on his own.

"_Something you should've done a long time ago…baka," _Shirosaki answered.

--

**a/n:** FINALLY! THEY KISSED! –falls- I'm actually kinda happy myself now. Ichigo deserves it. SOoo? What did you guys think? My longest chapter yet! 11 pages WOO! A little confusing I know but, this is where the plot twisting begins! (I lie)

It seems that Hitsugaya is suspicious of Renji, so will he find out the truth? And what do Kira and Hinamori know? What about Byakuya Kuchiki?? And now that Ichigo and Renji kissed and "together", what's gonna happen? Will Ichigo EVER identify the two rapists?

It's quite mind-boggling isn't it? (Don't lie to me, I know it isn't.)


End file.
